Joke #4640

Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.
Vote: has 44.67 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

One day, a space ship landed in a farmer’s field and a Martian man and his wife got out and introduced themselves to the farmer and his wife. As a token of his friendship, the farmer immediately invited the Martian couple in his home and begged them to stay for the evening and have dinner, so the Martians agreed. Later that night, the Martian man explained how, on their planet, it was customary to swap partners as a token of friendship. The farmer, not wanting to offend his alien neighbors, readily agreed. The Martian then man took the farmer’s wife into one bedroom while the farmer took the Martian woman into another. They had been having sex for about an hour when the Martian man asked the farmer’s wife, “Well, how do you like having sex with a Martian? How does it feel?” The farmer’s wife replied “It needs to be a little bigger around.” So the Martian man twisted his right ear and presto, his penis became bigger around. About an hour later, the Martian man asked the farmer’s wife again “How does it feel now?” The farmer’s wife responded “I think it needs to be a little longer.” So the Martian man twisted his left ear and presto, his penis became longer. The next morning, after their alien neighbors had left, the farmer and his wife were having coffee at the breakfast table and the farmer asked his wife “How was the Martian man?” To this, the farmer’s wife replied “Fine.” “And how about the Martian woman?” The farmer replied, “That damn bitch yanked on my fucking ears all night long!”
Vote: has 78.67 % from 91 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: couple, dirty, friendship, sex, wife
The woman was in bed with her lover and had just told him how stupid her Irish husband was when the door was thrown open and there stood her husband. He glared at her lover and bellowed, "What are you doing?" "There," said the wife, "didn’t I tell you he was stupid?"
Vote: has 66.76 % from 88 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: husband, sex, stupid, women
Two friends who had not seen each other for awhile met at a bar. "Hey, your wife just had a birthday recently, didn't she? Did you get her anything special?" "Yeah, I got her a pair of slippers and a dildo." "A pair of slippers and a dildo?" "Yeah, I said 'If you don't like the slippers, you can go fuck yourself.' "
Vote: has 69.39 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, birthday, dirty, friendship, sex
Q: "What is the difference between like and love?" A: "Spit and swallow."
Vote: has 67.59 % from 247 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, love, sex
My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207. Now 206. Now 207...
Vote: has 66.07 % from 210 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex
Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ? A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
Vote: has 31.66 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
How do you know if your wife wears tights in bed? Her toes curl up when you screw her.
Vote: has 42.33 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
Two men visit a prostitute. The first man goes into the bedroom. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘Heck. My wife is better than that.’ The second man goes in. He comes out ten minutes later and says, ‘You know? Your wife IS better.’
Vote: has 78.69 % from 1114 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: sex
Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? A: Her wedding cake.
Vote: has 78.93 % from 1281 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: food, marriage, sex, wedding
A woman walks into her sex thearapist’s office and tells her that her husband is not a very good lover, and the rarely have sex anymore, and asks what to do about it? The therapist tells her that she has a new drug called Viagra that might do the trick. She tells the woman to give him one pill that night, and come back in the morning to tell her what happens. The next day the woman walks in ecstatic telling the therapist the viagra worked, and she and her husband had the best sex ever. She asks her therapist what would happen if she gave her husband two pills? The therapist replies she dosn’t know but says to go ahead and try it. The next day, the same thing happens, the woman comes in telling the therapist tha the sex was even better than the night before. She asks the therapist what whould happen if she gave him five pills? The therapist once again tells her to give it a try. The following day the woman comes back in LIMP BUT HAPPY, tells the therapist the sex just keeps getting better and better. She asks what would happen if she gave him the rest of the bottle? The therapists tells her its a new drug and she doesn’t know what a full bottle would do to a person. The woman leaves the office and puts the rest of the pills in her husbands morning coffee. A week later a boy walks into the therapists office and asks: "Are you the “idiot” who gave my MOTHER a bottle of Viagra?" "Why yes young man I did?" "Why?" "Well mom’s dead, my sister’s Pregnant, my A– Hurts, and Dad just sits in the corner going, 'here Kitty, Kitty, Kitty…'”
Vote: has 76.43 % from 146 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, husband, sex, women