Joke #4640

Why don’t women blink during foreplay? They don’t have time.
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A man goes to a psychologist and says, "Doc I got a real problem, I can't stop thinking about relations." The psychologist says, "Well let's see what we can find out", and pulls out his ink blots. "What is this a picture of?" he asks. The man turns the picture upside down then turns it around and states, "That's a man and a woman having relations." The psychologist says, "Very interesting," and shows the next picture. "And what is this a picture of?" The man looks and turns it in different directions and says, "That's a man and a woman having relations." The psychologists tries again with the third ink blot, and asks the same question, "What is this a picture of?" The patient again turns it in all directions and replies, "That's a man and a woman having relations." The psychologist states, "Well, yes, you do seem to be obsessed with relations." "Me!?" demands the patient. "You're the one who keeps showing me the dirty pictures!"
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A woman went to her doctor for advice. She told the physician that her husband had developed a penchant for anal sex, and she wasn't sure it was such a good idea. The Doctor asked, "Do you enjoy it?" She said that she did. He asked, "Does it hurt you?" She said no. The Doctor then told her, "Well, then, there's no reason that you shouldn't practice anal sex, if that's what you like, so long as you take care not to get pregnant." The woman was mystified. She asked, "You can get pregnant from anal sex?" The Doctor replied, "Of course. Where do you think lawyers come from?"
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What’s the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
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Little Johnny took sex ed and every day when little Johnny would come in from school he'll tell his dad for learning sex ed well one day we'll just come in and he said that I got thrown out sex ed Lil Johnny's daddy says how do you get thrown out sex ed Little Johnny said well Dad I got in trouble for eating during class.
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What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table.
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What is that insensitive bit at the base of the penis called? The man.
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Bill and Marla decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 10-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation. "There's a car being towed from the parking lot,"he said. "An ambulance just drove by." A few moments passed. "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out. "Matt`s riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex." Mom and dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked. "Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.
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A man and woman are lying in bed after a disappointing bout of sex. ‘You’ve got a very small organ,’ says the woman. The man replies, ‘Well I didn’t know I’d be playing in the Albert Hall.’
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Justin Timberlake didn't bring sexy back Chuck Norris did.
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A farm boy who had just finished his schooling on the farm, was sent by his Ma and Pa to the big city to go to college. The first thing the boy does when he gets to town, is go to find a whorehouse. He goes inside to talk to the madam about getting a girl. She leads him upstairs, opens the door to a room and tells him to sit and wait for the girl to arrive. After several minutes of anxious waiting, a young, blonde prostitute comes in. The boy is beside himself, and he leaps up from the bed, grabs the television, and throws it out the window. The girl thinks this is odd behavior, but she shrugs it off, and begins to undress. As she strips, the farmboy runs over, grabs the night stand and throws it out the window. Again the girl thinks this is odd, but being an experienced hooker, she figures it's a fetish and continues disrobing. The girl removes her panties, and with that, the farm boy grabs the entire bed and starts lugging it toward the window. The girl, figuring this is one even she hasn't heard of, finally asks, "What the hell are you doing?" The farm boy replies, "Ah ain't never been with no woman before but, if it's anythin' like fuckin' sheep, we gonna need all the room we can git."
Vote: has 69.79 % from 105 votes. Send joke:

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