Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
They don’t have time.
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Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine,
created a pussy to their design.
First was a butcher,
with smart wit,
using a knife,
he gave it a slit,
Second was a carpenter,
strong and bold,
with a hammer and chisel,
he gave it a hole,
Third was a tailor,
tall and thin,
by using red velvet,
he lined it within,
Fourth was a hunter,
short and stout,
with a piece of fox fur,
he lined it without,
Fifth was a fisherman,
nasty as hell,
threw in a fish and gave it a smell,
Sixth was a preacher,
whose name was McGee,
he touched it and blessed it,
and said it could pee,
Last was a sailor,
dirty little runt,
he sucked it and fucked it,
and called it a cunt.
On the other day in a cemetery, I saw a woman who was rubbing her ass to a grave.
When I asked the reason, she answered: "It was my husband when he was alive; always he told me: 'Your ass is so sweet whenever any dead man touches it he'll be alive!'"
Chuck Norris impregnates women without having sex with them.
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Sue and Sally were discussing their sex lives.
Sue said, "Mine's OK. We get it on every week, but it's no big adventure. How's yours?"
Sally replied, "It's great ever since we got into S&M."
Sue was surprised. "Really, Sally, I never would have guessed that you'd go for that."
"Oh, sure," says Sally, "He snores while I masturbate."
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Q: What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%?
A: Her wedding cake.
Q: How does an English man know that his wife has died?
A: Sex is still the same but the dishes are stacked in the sink.
A little boy asked his mother:
Mummy, why are you white and I am black?
Don’t even ask me that, when I remember that party..., you are lucky that you don’t bark.
Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’
Woman, ‘You might be.
Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’