Joke #3265

How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men

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A man is talking to God. "God, how long is a million years?" God answers, "To me, it's about a minute." "God, how much is a million dollars?" "To me, it's a penny." "God, may I have a penny?" "Wait a minute."
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How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
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Something Special For His Birthday It was Jim's birthday, and he was considered to be an "old man" by his friends standards. So, to liven him up a bit, Jim's friends decided to give him something special for his birthday. They bought him a hooker. The call girl, as she preferred to be called, went to his house and knocked on the door. When Jim answered, she said "Hi I'm your birthday present!" Startled, he asked "What am I supposed to do with you?" "I'm yours for super sex," she answers. So Jim replied "Well, I'm 75 years old so I'll have the soup."
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: men
Men are like a fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it's our job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something we'd want to have dinner with.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: food, men, wine, work
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
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has 66.75 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: death, men, military, women
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
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has 70.39 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, sex, women
Why is it good that there are female astronauts? When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: men, women
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
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has 69.31 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, elephant, men
A man walking down the streets sees another man with a very big dog. One man says to the other, "Does your dog bite?" The man replies, "No my dog doesn't." The man pats the dog and has his hand bitten off, "I thought you said your dog didn't bite" said the injured man. "Thats not my dog", replied the other.
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has 69.55 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: men
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A. They already have boyfriends.
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has 64.76 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: gay, men