Joke #5142

Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.

A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee. The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help." One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."

Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra? A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.

If guys had they periods, they would compare the size of their tampons.

How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.

How is a man like a microwave oven? Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.

Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"

A burglar breaks into a house and is quietly and expertly collecting valuables in his bag when he hears a voice: "Jesus is watching you."

Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.

A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".

"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks. "I can't believe it, it really is a boy." That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.