Joke #5142

Q. Why do men name their penises? A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women? A: men have an antenna!
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dirty, men, women
What does a man call true love? An erection.
Vote: has 60.16 % from 12 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, men, political, women
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: anniversary, car, divorce, men, wife
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle. "That’s a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That’s still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I’d like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
Vote: has 34.87 % from 8 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
Vote: has 56.77 % from 17 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: divorce, light bulb, men
A man enters a store and says: "15 litres of wine please." "Did you bring a container for this? " "You're speaking to it."
Vote: has 75.96 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, men, wine
One day a man was walking along the beach and found a bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it. A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out. The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you a wish, but only one." The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to visit Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me seasick. So I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii." The genie thought for a minute and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved: the pilings needed to hold up the highway, how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed. No, that is just too much to ask." The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "Well, there is one other thing that I have always wanted. I would like to be able to understand my girlfriend. What makes her laugh and cry, why is she temperamental, why is she so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes her tick?" The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"
Vote: has 81.51 % from 86 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, men