How are men like chocolates?
A.They never last long enough
B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.
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Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra?
Now he's hard up.
What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."
A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
A man has 6 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.
The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437.
A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
My Dearest Susan,
Sweetie of my heart.
I’ve been so desolate ever since I broke off our engagement.
Simply devastated.
Won’t you please consider coming back to me?
You hold a place in my heart no other woman can fill.
I can never marry another woman quite like you.
I need you so much. Won’t you forgive me and let us make a new beginning?
I love you so.
Yours always and truly,
John
P.S. Congratulations on you winning the state lottery.
I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke?
Son: Yeah!
Dad: Pussy.
Son: I don't get it.
Dad: Exactly...