How are men like chocolates?
A.They never last long enough
B.They always leave stains whenever they get hot.
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Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus?
At the circus the clowns don't talk.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
What do you instantly know about a well-dressed man?
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
A man goes to his doctor and says, “I don’t think my wife’s hearing isn’t as good as it used to be.
What should I do?”
The doctor replies, “Try this test to find out for sure.
When your wife is in the kitchen doing dishes, stand fifteen feet behind her and ask her a question, if she doesn’t respond keep moving closer asking the question until she hears you.”
The man goes home and sees his wife preparing dinner.
He stands fifteen feet behind her and says, “What’s for dinner, honey?
He gets no response, so he moves to ten feet behind her and asks again.
Still no response, so he moves to five feet. Still, no answer.
Finally he stands directly behind her and says, “Honey, what’s for dinner?” She replies, “For the fourth time, I SAID CHICKEN!”
Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.
What is a "successful hunting trip"?
When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up,
I wish I'd never put it on now.