I've got something you can take up the chain.
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Whats the difference between Paris Hilton and a bowling ball?
You can only get 3 fingers in a bowling ball!
Q: What did the blonde's mother say when she asked if she could lick the bowl?
A: "Just flush it like everybody else does."
Vote:
Two men were talking:
First : "Can U put the word 'penis' in a sentence?"
Second: "Yo mama's pussy."
Q: What did the prick say to the balls?
A: You guys hang around here while I go inside!
This couple were in bed getting busy when the girl places the guys hand onto her p*ssy.
"Put your finger in me..." she asks him.
So he does without hesitation, as she starts moaning.
"Put two fingers in...", she says.
So in goes another one.
She's really starting to get worked up when she says,"Put your whole hand in!".
The guy's like, "Ok!".
So he has his entire hand in, when she says moaning aloud "Put both your hands inside of me!".
So the guy puts both of his hands in!
"Now clap your hands..." commands the girl.
"I can't", says the guy.
The girl looks at him and says "See, I told you I had a tight p*ssy!".
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.
"Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols."
"Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?"
Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Mom: If a boy touches your boobs say "don't" and if he touches your pussy say "stop"?
Girl: But mom, he touched both so I said "don’t stop"
Q: Why do nursing homes give Viagra to the old men every night?
A: It keeps them from rolling out of bed!
Vote:
An old lady went to visit her dentist.
When it was her turn she sat in the chair, lowered her underpants and raised her legs.
The dentist said: "Excuse me; I 'm not a gynecologist."
"I know," said the old lady "I want you to take my husband's teeth out."