Joke #3468

Q: How do you circumcise a whale? A: With four skin-divers.

Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?

A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."...

I'd like to think inside your box.

Have you ever seen the serial number on a condom? No? Oh sorry, you must not have to roll it down that far.

Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.

A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis. He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"

There were three women sitting at a bar, talking about how loose they were. One woman said that her husband could fit his arm in up to his elbow. The next woman said her man could fit his leg in up to his knee. The last woman just slid over the bar stool.

Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common? A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.

"I shall call it squishy, and he will be mine. He will be my squishy." "Let go of my boob."

Undertaker to bereaved husband. When did you 1st notice your wife was dead? Well he replies, "The s*x was the same but the dishes were starting too pile up."