Little Sally came home from school with a proud smile on her face.
She told her mum, "Frankie Brown showed me his willy today."
Before mum could raise a concern sally said, "It reminded me of a peanut..."
With a secret smile mum asked, "Was it really small?"
Sally replied, "No... really salty!"
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Q: What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?
A: Beat it. We're closed.
Q: What do you get when you cross Viagra with 3 Playboy Playmates
A: Hugh Hefner.
Q: Why do women wear makeup and perfume?
A: Because they're ugly and they stink.
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer.
A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"
"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him.
"We put sugar and cream on ours."
Two older women were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain.
One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking.
First Lady:Whats that?
Second Lady: A condom. This way my cigarette doesnt get wet.
First Lady: Where did you get it?
Second Lady : You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers.
Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
Bully: Your dick is probably like a tic tac.
Geek: No wonder your mom's mouth is so fresh.
Class: Oooooohhhh!
Q: Why did the lumber truck stop?
A: To let the lumber jack off.
What do you say to a virgin?
Thanks for nothing!
Wanna know Victoria's Secret?
She has a penis.