Bigamy is having one husband too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
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"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks.
"I can't believe it, it really is a boy."
That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
Why does the stupid man put ice in his condom?
To keep the swelling down.
Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good."
Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet.
What are they thinking?
The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet.
He doesn’t want to talk.
May be he’s get tired of me.
He doesn’t love me anymore.
He’s probably got someone else.
I see.
We’ll have to separate each other."
The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling.
Wow!
How keep it there and don’t fall?"
Three guys are at a restaurant, all with their girlfriends.
The first guy, thinking he is all suave, says to his girlfriend, "Could you pass me the honey?...Honey."
Now, the second guy, copying the first, says to his girlfriend, "Could you pass me the sugar?...Sugar."
So now, the third guy is under pressure.
He has to come up with something good.
After, a minute of thinking he says to his girlfriend, "Pass me the pork...pig."
Coco Chanel once said that you should put perfume on places where you want to be kissed by a man.
But hell does that burn!
In the beginning, God created Earth and then rested.
After that, He creaed man and rested.
Then God created woman.
Since then, neither God nor man got ever rested.
Q: Why are men so happy?
A: Because ignorance is bliss.
What is a man's definition of safe sex?
A padded headboard.
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house.
A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again.
Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is!
My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"