Joke #3362

Bigamy is having one husband too many. Some say monogamy is the same.
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Q: What is difference between man and Superman? A: Man wears underwear under the trouser and superman wears it over the trouser.
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What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups? Put the remote control between his toes.
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Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises? So oxygen can get into their brains.
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Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
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How are men like noodles? They're always in hot water, they lack taste, and they need dough.
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Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
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Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
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Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain? A: A widower.
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Sid and Irv are business partners. They make a deal that whichever one dies first will contact the living one from the afterlife. So Irv dies. Sid doesn't hear from him for about a year, figures there is no afterlife. Then one day he gets a call. It's Irv. "So there is an afterlife! What's it like?" Sid asks. "Well, I sleep very late. I get up, have a big breakfast. Then I have sex, lots of sex. Then I go back sleep, but I get up for lunch, have a big lunch. Have some more sex. Take a nap. Huge dinner. More sex. Go to sleep, and wake up the next day." "Oh, my God," says Sid "So that's what heaven is like?" "Oh no," says Irv. "I'm not in heaven. I'm a bear in Yellowstone Park."
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How do you save a man from drowning? Take your foot off his head.
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