Bigamy is having one husband too many.
Some say monogamy is the same.
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Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
A true gentleman holds the door for his woman... then smacks her ass as she walks by.
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Sex is when a guys communication,
enters a girls information,
to increase the population,
for a younger generation,
do you get the information...
or do you need a demonstration.
What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.
Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra?
Now he's hard up.
Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak!
They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used.
You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot.
They last longer and come with a warranty.
You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle.
They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it.
They come in fashion colors.
You can keep them in maximum zoom.
They come with replaceable or adjustable parts.
The parts that count are portable.
They don’t mind over-exposure.
They respond to the slightest touch.
The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
Q: What do you call a man who has lost 98% of his brain?
A: A widower.
There's 3 army generals and the government decides to pay them any way they want measured.
First guy says measure from the tip of my toe to the end of my finger.
So they do and its 73 inches so they pay him $730,000.
The second guy does the same and gets paid $650,000.
The third guy goes measure from the tip of my penis to the back of my balls.
They say OK drop your pants, so he does and they measure.
"You have no balls" they say.
"Yes I do," he replies, "they're still in Vietnam.