How is a man like a snowstorm?
You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
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I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Men are like.....Weather.
Nothing can be done to change either one of them.
One morning while his wife was making breakfast, a man walked up to her and gave her a healthy pinch on her butt.
He said to her, "If you firmed up your butt we could get rid of your girdle."
The wife was angry but said nothing. The next morning her husband pinched her breast and said, "If you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra."
The wife grabbed her husband's penis and replied, "and if you firmed this up we could get rid of the mailman, the gardener, the pool man, and your brother!"
Brrr! My hands are cold.
Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?
Q: Why the men's voice is louder than women?
A: men have an antenna!
Vote:
What is a man's idea of foreplay?
A half hour of begging.
A man goes into a florist and says, "I want to buy some flowers for my girlfriend".
"Certainly sir", she responds, "and what in particular are you after"?
After some thought, the man answers, "a shag".
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.