Joke #5603

How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
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has 75.00 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: men

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When God created the donkey, he said:"You’ll work day and night, and you’ll carry in your back heavy baggage. You’ll eat grass and you’ll have low IQ. You’ll be living for 50 years." "But my God, 50 years is a lot of time for that kind of life! Give me only 30." And so it happened. Then, God created the dog:"As a dog, you’ll guard man’s property and you’ll be his staunch/loyal friend. You’ll eat their left overs and you’ll be living for 25 years." "Oh, Mighty God. This kind of life is unbearable. Give me only 10 years to live, please." And so it happened. Then, God created the monkey:" You’ll jump around, tree to tree, and you’ll act like a fool so people can be entertained by you. You life will last 20 years." "No, God, please! Don’t let me suffer for that long. Give only 10 years to live." And so it happened. Last, God created the Man:"You’re a Man. You’re the only sensible being on the planet earth. You’ll use your inteligence to dominance the other creatures. You’ll be in charge. You’ll life will last 20 years." "But my one and only God, 20 years is not too long to achieve my goal. I beg you to give me the donkey’s 20 years, dog’s 15 years and monkeys 10 years." And so it happen. Since then men lives for 20 years as a man. Then, he gets married and works as a donkey for 20 years by carrying heavy baggage night and day. He haves children and lives as a dog, guarding the house and his property, eating family left overs. And when he grows old, he lives like a monkey. He’s his grandchildren entertainer by acting fool!
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has 68.26 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, god, life, men
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
A policeman pulled a car over and told the driver he had won $5,000 dollars in the seatbelt competition. "What are you going to do with the money?" asked the policeman. "Well, I guess I'm going to get a drivers license", he answered. "Oh, don't listen to him," said a woman in the passenger seat, "He's a smart aleck when he's drunk." Then the guy in the backseat said, "I knew we wouldn't get far in a stolen car." At that moment there was a knock from the trunk and a voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"
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has 82.74 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: cop, drunk, men, money
There are 5 birds in a tree. A hunter shoots 2 of them dead. How many birds are left? 2 birds. The other 3 fly away!
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: men
How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
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has 21.90 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What do you call a man who run a cross the road and roll in the dirt then run back across? A: A double dirty crosser.
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has 56.98 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, travel
Six nuns are washing themselves all together when the doorbell rings. One nun goes to the door and says 'who is it?' An elderly gentleman replies "It's the blind man from the village" so the nun shouts to the others, "don't worry it's just the blind man from the village, I'll let him in." She lets him in and goes "how can we help?" The gent replies "I'm just going to go measure your blinds, but nice tits"
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has 76.06 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: men
Camilla goes to the doctors and says "Doctor, whenever one sucks Charlie's cock one gets a stomach ache." The doctor says "Have you tried Andrew's?"
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, men, sex
What's the difference between a man and a messy room? You can straighten up a messy room.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What would it be a good idea for you to do after a man takes your wife? A: Let him keep her!
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has 74.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: mean, men, wife