How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
Wouldn’t it be great if men were made by Kodak! They would automatically shut off when they weren’t being used. You wouldn’t have to wait for them to recharge after each shot. They last longer and come with a warranty. You can try them out first for a two-week trial period and return them if not satisfied with no risks or hassle. They exist to capture the moment, not ruin it. They come in fashion colors. You can keep them in maximum zoom. They come with replaceable or adjustable parts. The parts that count are portable. They don’t mind over-exposure. They respond to the slightest touch. The one you want is available at a KMART near you.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? They already have boyfriends.
Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
God said to Adam, "I’ve got some good news and some bad news. First the good news. I have given you a brain and a p***s. The bad news… I’ve only given you enough blood to work one of them at a time!"
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer? A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
Q: Why are Christmas trees better than Men? A: Even the small ones give satisfaction.