How is a man like a snowstorm?
You don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll stay.
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Mattel is coming out with a talking Barbie.
They say it was easy to get Barbie to talk.
The problem was getting Ken to listen.
I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter.
When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah, three males and two females."
Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference.
He said: "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
What's the difference between a man and an ox?
Fifteen pounds and a six-pack.
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
What is the difference between a man and E.T.?
E.T. phoned home.
Girl: "Girls are better than boys."
Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"