How can you tell if a man is aroused?
He's breathing. 
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Did you hear about the man who spent too much of his company's money on Viagra?
Now he's hard up.
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
1) No mind.
2) No business.
I can honestly say in all our years of friendship, I have never heard anyone question John’s intelligence, to be perfectly honest I never heard anyone even mention any intelligence on John’s part.
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer?
When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
I stopped at a friend's house the other day and found him stalking around with a fly-swatter.
When I asked if he was getting any flies, he answered: "Yeah, three males and two females."
Curious, I asked how he could tell the difference.
He said: "Three were on a beer can and two were on the phone."
Question: Why do men die before their wives?
Answer: Because they want to.
Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
They already have boyfriends.
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Why are men like laxatives?
They can irritate the s**t out of you.