How can you tell if a man is aroused? He's breathing.
After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
How is being at a singles bar different from going to the circus? At the circus the clowns don't talk.
Q: Why do men like blonde jokes? A: Because they can understand them.
Why are men like blenders? You need one, but you're not quite sure why.
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Q: How big is a Republican-size bed? A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
Why is psychoanalysis a lot quicker for men than for women? When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
Knock knockrn Who's there? Woman who? Wo-man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke Knock knock. Who's there? Man. Man who? Man you where so nice to let me tell you this joke.