Joke #3437

Q: Why did the man put condoms on his ears during sex? A: He didn't want to get hearing aids.
Vote: has 58.35 % from 58 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A father has three daughters that are all getting married on the same day. He asks his oldest daughter, ''Who do you wish to marry? She says, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with three dragons on his chest.'' He walks over to his second daughter and asks her the same question. She replies, ''Father, I wish to marry the man with two dragons on his chest.'' He then goes to his youngest daughter and asks her the same thing: ''Who do you wish to marry?'' She replies, ''I wish to marry the man with one draggin' on the floor!''
Vote: has 65.42 % from 61 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
Vote: has 69.26 % from 737 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
One day, a hippie and a nun get on a bus. The hippie whispers into the nun's ear and says "You wanna have sex?" and the nun says, "No way you sicko!", after that, the hippie gets off the bus and tells the bus driver to tell the nuns to go to the graveyard at 9:00pm that night. At 9:00pm the nun arrives at the graveyard and the hippie is there dressed as god. The hippie then commands the nun to have sex with him and the nun replies, "Ok, but can you do it up the back?", the hippie agrees and they do it. After they're done, the hippie pulls of his mask and yells, "HA! I am the hippie from the bus" then the nun pulls of HIS mask and says "HA! I am the bus driver!"
Vote: has 76.72 % from 143 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
Q: Do you know what 69 is? A: It's a good thing screwed up by a period.
Vote: has 43.61 % from 27 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, sex, women
What is the difference between mayonnaise and semen? Mayonnaise doesn't shoot down your throat at 40 miles per hour.
Vote: has 56.92 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, food
A lady says to the psychiatrist, "I think I might be a nymphomaniac." He says, "I'll see what I can do to help you. My fee is eighty dollars an hour." She says, "How much for all night?"
Vote: has 74.78 % from 37 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, doctor, money, sex, time
Dad says to his son, "Don't mast*rbate to much because you will go blind." Son say, "I'm over here?"
Vote: has 63.81 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty
My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills. I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, mean, relationship, sex, technology
Q: How big are the pastro's beds? A: Oh c'mon, it knows every little kid.
Vote: has 32.63 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, kids, religious, sex
A woman walks into a saloon and stands on a chair. "Fellas! My p***y is so big that I'll give $100 to anyone who has something that I can't take." A big cowboy gets up and takes off his size 16 cowboy boots and shoves them into her p***y. The boots are sucked right in. He grabs a flashlight and, that too, is sucked in. He puts his face in between her legs to get a better look and he gets sucked in. Inside he hears noises. "Is someone else in here?" he asks. "Yeah, I've been in here for a week," the voice says. "Help me find my flashlight and we can get out of here," the cowboy says. "Hell," says the other man, "help me find my keys and we can drive out."
Vote: has 80.37 % from 274 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, cowboy, dirty, money, women