Boy: you left this at my house last night
Girl: that aint mine
Boy : sorry number 32 I thought you were someone else
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Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q: When is the only time you can smack an ugly woman in the face?
A: When her mustache is on fire.
Q: What did Snow White say to Pinocchio when she was sitting on his face?
A: "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
Vote:
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
Q: Whats the difference between Amy Winehouse and Captain Morgan?
A: Captain Morgan comes alive when you add coke!
Q: Why would a blonde wear green lipstick?
A: Because red means Stop.
Q. What do a toilet and a woman have in common?
A. Without the hole in the middle they aren't good for shit.
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A: Wet noses.
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"