Joke #3451

Why did the dinosaur cross the road? It was the chicken's day off.

Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk." Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."

What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider? A harenet.

What do cows like to do at amoosement parks? Ride on the roller cowster.

Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful, she had to sleep in cold back alleys where there was no food and life was hard. God told her that he was sorry it had had turned out that way but here, in heaven, she would be happy and He would give her the most comfortable, warm pillow to sleep on. The cat laid down upon the pillow and was happy. A few days later, about a dozen mice that came to heaven together and God asked them how they had liked earth. Earth was no better for them than it was the cat. They explained to God that it was tough and exhausting and their feet were worn out from always running from cats and dogs and people. God felt bad for the mice and decided to give them rollerskates. One day God sees the cat again and asked her how she was liking heaven. She explained that it was absolutely wonderful. The pillow he gave her was the most comfortable place that she had ever slept on, but even better than the pillow were the meals on wheels.

How did that bullfight come out? Oh, it was a toss-up.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? a lickalotapus.

''I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu.''

What's a rabbits favorite movie? Rabbits of the Lost Ark.

What do you get if you cross a cow with a tension headache? A bad mood.

A hunter visited another hunter and was given a tour of his home. In the den was a stuffed lion. The visiting hunter asked, “When did you bag him?” The host said proudly, “That was three years ago, when I went hunting with my ex-wife.” “What’s he stuffed with,” asked the visiting hunter. “My ex-wife” replied the hunter.