Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
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How do you weigh a whale?
On Whale Weigh Scales.
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Little Johnny's teacher said,
"Johnny, your essay on My Dog is exactly the same as your sister's."
Did you copy hers?, she asked.
Johnny replied, "No, teacher, it's the same dog!"
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A fish walks into a bar, the bartender asks, "What would you like?" the fish says holding his neck, "Water".
What do you call a fish with no eye?
Fsh.
What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil?
Pre-tanned leather.
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbor peered over the fence.
Interested in what the little girl was up to, he politely asked: "What are you up to there, Nancy?"
"My goldfish died", replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned:
"That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth and then replied:
"That's because he's inside your fucking cat."
What's black and white, stinks and hangs from a line?
A drip dry skunk.
Yo' Mama is so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.