What do you call explosive cow vomit?
A cud missle.
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Chuck Norris once won the Iditarod by pulling his team of dogs on the sled.
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Q: Why does the easter bunny hide his eggs?
A: He doesn't want anyone to know he's f**king chickens.
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a sheep?
A stripey sweater.
Chuck Norris doesn't play dead for bears, bears play dead for Chuck Norris.
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How are black people and wolves similar?
They both fight in packs.
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What's black and white and green?
A frog sitting on a newspaper.
What happened to the tiger who took a bath three times a day?
After a week he was spotless.
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff.
A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on.
They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation.
The redhead goes first.
She jumps and says "eagle!".
She turns into an eagle and flies away.
The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away.
The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
Did you hear about the aristocratic horse?
He was the last of his race!