What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
Q: What is a black cat's favorite color? A: Purrrrrr-ple!
What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.
Patty was sitting in her back yard digging a hole to bury her dead goldfish. Mrs. Johnson, who lived next door, was watching her over the fence. Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, what are you doing?" Patty said, "I'm digging a hole to bury my dead goldfish." Mrs. Johnson said, "Patty, don't you think that hole is a little BIG for a goldfish?" Patty said, "No...it's inside your damn cat!"
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
What is a moo hoo for a cow fight? A cattle battle.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.
What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast? How slime flies.
What does a squid sheriff form? An octoposse.
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.