What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
How do you make a rabbit fast? Don't feed it.
Yo momma so fat when she goes camping the bears hide their food.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
The little snail begs for his mother: Mother, please let me pass the rail road! Thunder dear, not now. In five hours the train passes.
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group? Look for gray hares.
A parrot was in a pet shop with a string attached to each leg when a man walked in looking to buy a pet. A shopkeeper came over and started to try and sell him a dog when the man noticed the parrot. He asked what the strings were for and the shopkeeper replied, "Well, if you pull the right string the parrot says, 'Polly wanna cracker'. If you pull the left string it says, 'my name's Sam'". The man being of the inquisitive nature tried both and thought it was really neat, but was still curious. So he asked what would happen if he pulled both strings, the parrot piped up, "I'd fall off the perch you idiot!"
Q: What is the difference between a mouse and a dick? A: No difference. Both are searching a hole.