What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy.
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with. JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?" BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me." JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father." BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!" JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?" BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto." JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?" BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
Yo' Mama is so ugly, her face looks like a horse's ass flapping in the breeze.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an ‘A’ bra.
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger? The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
What do you call an easy-going rabbit? Hoppy-go-lucky.
How do you start a teddy bear race? Ready, teddy, go.