Joke #9984

What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
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has 55.29 % from 387 votes. More jokes about: animal, golf, husband, money, sex
What do you if you're trapped inside a whale? Run round and round till you're all pooped out!
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, disgusting
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
What do you call an easy-going rabbit? Hoppy-go-lucky.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal
Two alligators are sitting on the edge of a swamp. The small one turns to the big one and says; I don't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the same age, we were the same size as kids... I just don't get it." "Well," says the big alligator, "what have you been eating?" "Lawyers, same as you," replies the small alligator. "Hm. Well, where do you catch 'em?" "Down at that law firm on the edge of the swamp." "Same here. Hm. How do you catch 'em?" "Well, I crawl under a BMW and wait for someone to unlock the door. Then I jump out, bite 'em, shake the shit out of 'em, and eat 'em!" "Ah!" says the big alligator, "I think I see your problem. See, by the time you get done shakin' the shit out of a lawyer, there's nothing left but lips and a briefcase..."
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has 54.05 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: animal, kids, lawyer
Did you hear the joke about the skunk? Never mind, it stinks.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
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has 62.71 % from 225 votes. More jokes about: animal
Yo' Mama is so fat, she tried to eat her chicken pox.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, food, Yo mama
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
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has 60.67 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, fish
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal