Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.
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Q: What do a tornado and a redneck divorce have in common?
A: In the end, someone is going to lose a trailer.
Q: How many divorce attorneys does it take to change a light bulb?
A: It only takes one divorce attorney to change your light bulb to his light bulb.
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You might be a redneck if you're invited to a come as you party and you show up naked.
Me: What do you call someone who isn't sure if they like egg nog or not?
Wife: What?
Me: An Eggnogstic.
Wife: This is grounds for divorce.
Q: What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision?
A: In a divorce, you get rid of the whole schmuck.
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies?
A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
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The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark.
Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house.
A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, "How cum yer wearin' two jackets?"
"'Cause," said the redneck, "the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!"
I am a marvelous housekeeper.
Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
A man boarded an airplane and took his seat.
As he settled in, he glanced up and saw an unusually beautiful woman boarding the plane.
He soon realized she was heading straight toward his seat.
Lo and behold, she took the seat right beside his.
Eager to strike up a conversation, he blurted out, "Business trip or vacation?"
She turned, smiled and said, "Business. I'm going to the Annual Sexual Studies Convention in Chicago".
He swallowed hard.
Here was the gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him and she was going to a meeting about sexual studies!
Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"
"Lecturer," she responded. "I use my extensive personal experience to share interesting facts about sexuality.
"Really," he gulped,"like what?"
"Well," she explained, "For instance, Native American Indians are the most passionate. While Jewish men are the most likely to satisfy a woman fully. And in terms of lasting the longest, surprisingly it's the Southern redneck."
Suddenly, the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed.
"I'm sorry," she said, "I shouldn't really be discussing this with you. I don't even know your name."
"Um, Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba."
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