Joke #6361

Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: divorce, light bulb, men

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Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
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has 81.59 % from 244 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men, work
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
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has 80.93 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: divorce, mean, men, money, women
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
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has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
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has 67.25 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, car, divorce, men, wife
Q: How many divorce attorneys does it take to change a light bulb? A: It only takes one divorce attorney to change your light bulb to his light bulb.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: divorce, lawyer, light bulb
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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has 29.98 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
Mommy Bear and Daddy Bear were in divorce court. The judge looked down and asked the Baby Bear, "So Baby Bear, do you want to live with Daddy Bear?" "Oh, no," Baby Bear replied, "I don't want to live with Daddy Bear. He beat me." "Well then, you should live with Mommy Bear," answered the judge. "On, no, I don't want to live with Mommy Bear. She beat me." "Well then, Baby Bear, who do you want to live with?" Baby Bear said, "I want to live with the Chicago Bears. They don't beat anybody!"
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has 74.86 % from 243 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, divorce, sport