Joke #3534

Q: What do you call a 900-pound woman with a yeast infection? A: A whopper with cheese.
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A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.
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Q: What book do women like the most? A: "Their husbands checkbook!"
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A lady who was speeding had an officer pulled her to the side of the road.   She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
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A traffic Policeman recently stopped a woman for exceeding the posted speed limit. He asked the driver her name. She said, "I'm Mrs. Chadivaler Zuminskagia Ragretumunga from the Republic of Uzbetikan visiting my daughter in Columbia." As she finished speaking the cop paused for a moment and then put away his summons book and pen, and said, "Well... OK... but don't let me catch you speeding again."
Vote: has 35.23 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.
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I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !
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The honeymoon couple left the wedding reception and hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills. The driver wasn’t too sure how to get there, so he told the couple he would ask directions when they got closer to their destination. Meanwhile, the lovers couldn’t wait to get busy, so they got down to business in the back seat. During the couple’s moment of passion, the cabdriver noticed a fork in the road, and said, "I take the next turn, right?" "Screw NO, get your own woman," said the groom, "this one’s all mine!"
Vote: has 75.11 % from 210 votes. Send joke:

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Have you heard about the new super-sensitive condoms? They hang around after the man leaves and talks to the woman.
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A girl goes to a library. Girl: I want the book, "Women- The most perfect and intelligent." . . . . Librarian: Comic section is at the backside.
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Question: How can you tell if your wife is dead? Answer: The sex will be the same but the dishes will pile up.
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