Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
A mom calls out to her son "Harry! Wake up! You'll be late for school." The son replies, "Mom I don't want to go to school! The teachers and students hate me! Give me one reason I should go!" The mom says back, "You should go because you're the principal!"
Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
Fred came home from his first day at school. "Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
Q: How did the pirate get through School? A: By sailing on high C's.
Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday." Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
When you try to change a man, you basically undertake his mother’s role; And she made him eat spinach and study for school...
A gentleman wanders around the campus of a college looking for the library. He approaches a student and asked, “Excuse me, young man. Would you be good enough and tell me where the library is at?” The student, in a very arrogant and belittling tone, replied, “I sorry, sir, but at this school, we are taught never to end a sentence with a preposition!” The gentleman smiled, and in a very apologetic tone replied, “I beg your pardon. Please allow me to rephrase my question. Would you be good enough to tell me where the library is at, asshole?”
Yo momma so fat that when she went to her prom she literally raised the roof.
Teacher: "What is seven Q plus three Q?" Student: " Ten Q"Teacher: "You're Welcome."