Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of STUDY and DYING?
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Teacher: "I killed a person, tell me this sentence in future tense."
Student: "In future tense, You will go to jail."
The child comes home from his first day at school.
Mother: “What did you learn today?”
Kid: “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”
Yo mama so fat when she walked out in August in her yellow sun dress and the kids said mommy its time for school.
Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school?
A: Because they're all in high school
John: Knock, knock.
Justin: Who’s there?
John: Gladys.
Justin: Gladys, who?
John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars?
Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
One night 4 MBA students were outing till late night and didn`t study for the test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan.
They made themselves look as dirty and weird as they could with grease and dirt.
They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
Then dean was a just person so he said that you can have the retest after 3 days.
They said they will be ready by that time.
On the third day they appeared before the dean.
The dean said that this was a special condition test.
All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days.
The test consisted of 2 questions with total of 100 marks:
Q.1. Write down your name –(2 marks)
Q.2. Which tyre burst — (98 marks)
Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be?
Fred: None!
Fred (surprised): Why not?
Fred: Because you can't lay eggs!
Teacher: Shamu, go to the map and find North America.
Shamu: Here it is!
Teacher: Correct. Now, Ramu, who discovered America?
Ramu: Shamu!