Joke #3606

Tom was walking down the street when he sees a funeral procession. At the head was the casket, behind was a man walking a very large dog and behind him were 300 people. Tom walks over to the guy with the dog and asks who’s funeral is this? The man answers, “My mother-in-law’s.” Tom wishes his condolences and asks, “She must of been a very important person, but what’s with the dog?” He answers, “This is the dog that killed her!” So Tom asks, “can I borrow the dog for an hour?” He responds, “Get on line!”
Vote: has 76.89 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A boy at a cinema notices what looks like a bear sitting next to him "Are you a bear?" "Yes" "What are you doing at the movies?" "Well, I liked the book!"
Vote: has 78.80 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
How would you get four reindeer in a car? Two in the front and two in the back. And how do you get four polar bears in a car? Take the reindeer out first.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, car
An old couple is on a walk, when a pigeon flies by and relieves himself on the woman's head. "Yech!" says the woman. "Get some toilet paper." "What for? He must be half-a-mile away by now."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, animal, couple, disgusting, old people
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
How do jockeys determine which racehorses are the favourites? They take a gallop poll!
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
David received a parrot for his birthday. The parrot was fully grown with a bad attitude and worse vocabulary. Every other word was an obscenity. Those that weren’t expletives, were to say the least, rude. David tried hard to change the bird’s attitude and was constantly saying polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of. Nothing worked. He yelled at the bird and the bird yelled back. He shocked the bird and the bird just got more angry and more rude. Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the bird in the freezer, just for a few moments. He heard the bird squawk and kick and scream-then suddenly, there was quiet. David was frightened that he might have hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door. The parrot calmly stepped out and said “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I’ll endeavor at once to correct my behavior. I really am truly sorry and beg your forgiveness.” David was astonished at the bird’s change in attitude and was about to ask what had made such a dramatic change when the parrot continued, “May I ask what did the chicken do?”
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bird, birthday, parrot
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind? A: A maybe.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Vote: has 62.14 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
What happened to the skunk who failed his swimming lesson? He stank to the bottom of the pool.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal
Why did Bossy slug Roy Rogers? She heard he was a cowpuncher-
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal