Joke #14194

What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon.
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has 59.61 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: animal

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Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
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A guy goes out one day, hunting for bear. After a few hours in the forest, he finally sees a giant grizzly. He gets the bear in the rifle's sight and is about to pull the trigger when he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's another bear. 'Buddy,' the bear says, 'that's my best friend down there. I can rip your head off right now, or you can suck my dick. What's it gonna be?' Fearing for his life, the hunter says 'I'll suck your dick, Mr. Bear.' The next day, hungry for revenge, the hunter returns to the woods and sees the same bear. But as soon as he lines up the bear in his sights, he feels a tap on his shoulder. 'Buddy,' says the bear. 'Today, I can rip your head off or you can fuck me in the ass.' Again fearing for his life, the hunter replies, 'I'll fuck you in the ass Mr.Bear.' The next day, furious at what has happened to him, the hunter returns to the forest in order to kill same bear. Once again, he gets the bear in his rifle sights when he feels a tap on his shoulder. The bear shakes his head at the hunter and says, 'You don't come here for the hunting do you?'
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How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
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has 63.66 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig? (A teddy boar!)
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What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before. "It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. "Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter. "All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
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Q: Where does a kangaroo go that can't hop? A: Hopspital.
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Why did the rabbits go on strike? They wanted a better celery.
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Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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has 81.63 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, death, friendship
Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal