What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long?
A πthon.
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How did the farmer find his lost cow?
He tractor down.
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
(A teddy boar!)
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
Q. What do frogs do with paper?
A. Rip-it!
Which rabbits were famous bank robbers?
Bunny and Clyde.
Q: Why are fish so smart?
A: Because they live in schools.
A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas.
He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals.
The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers.
This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo.
It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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