Joke #14194

What do you call a snake that is exactly 3.14 meters long? A πthon.
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has 59.61 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A guy goes out one day, hunting for bear. After a few hours in the forest, he finally sees a giant grizzly. He gets the bear in the rifle's sight and is about to pull the trigger when he feels a tap on his shoulder. It's another bear. 'Buddy,' the bear says, 'that's my best friend down there. I can rip your head off right now, or you can suck my dick. What's it gonna be?' Fearing for his life, the hunter says 'I'll suck your dick, Mr. Bear.' The next day, hungry for revenge, the hunter returns to the woods and sees the same bear. But as soon as he lines up the bear in his sights, he feels a tap on his shoulder. 'Buddy,' says the bear. 'Today, I can rip your head off or you can fuck me in the ass.' Again fearing for his life, the hunter replies, 'I'll fuck you in the ass Mr.Bear.' The next day, furious at what has happened to him, the hunter returns to the forest in order to kill same bear. Once again, he gets the bear in his rifle sights when he feels a tap on his shoulder. The bear shakes his head at the hunter and says, 'You don't come here for the hunting do you?'
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has 78.27 % from 743 votes. More jokes about: animal, life, sex
What hair style is a calf's favorite? The cowlick.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, game
What do frogs do with paper? Rip-it!
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has 32.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal
I got a cat the other day. I had to swerve, but I got it.
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has 29.42 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A little kid gets on a city bus, sits right behind the driver, and starts talking loudly, "If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow, I'd be a little bull." The driver gets annoyed as the kids continues to yammer on. "If my dad was an rooster and my mom a hen, I would be a little chick." The kid goes on and on with all the animals he knows, when finally, the bus driver yells, "What if your dad was a bum and your mom was a drunk?" The kid smiles and says, "I'd be a bus driver."
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has 56.81 % from 87 votes. More jokes about: animal, dad, kids
There was this biologist who was doing some experiments with frogs. He was measuring just how far frogs could jump. So he puts a frog on a line and says "Jump frog, jump!" The frog jumps 2 feet. He writes in his lab book: "Frog with 4 legs – jumps 2 feet." Next he chops off one of the legs and repeats the experiment. "Jump frog jump!" he says. The frog manages to jump 1.5 feet. So he writes in his lab book: "Frog with 3 legs – jumps 1.5 feet." He chops off another and the frog only jumps 1 foot. He writes in his book: "Frog with 2 legs jumps 1 foot." He continues and removes yet another leg. "Jump frog jump!" and the frog somehow jumps a half of a foot. So he writes in his lab book again: "Frog with one leg – jumps 0.5 feet." Finally he chops off the last leg. He puts the frog on the line and teels it to jump. "Jump frog, jump!" The frog doesn’t move. "Jump frog, jump!" Again the frog stays on the line. "Come on frog, jump!" But to no avail. The biologist finally writes in his book: "Frog with no legs – goes deaf."
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, science
"Mommy, all the kids at school say I'm a werewolf! Is that true?" "No, of course not. Now shut up and comb your face."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, school
Chuck Norris looked Medusa straight in the eyes, and laughed.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris