Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh"
How do you know when you re eating rabbit stew? When it has hares in it.
Two cows were talking in the field. One cow says, "Have you heard about the Mad Cow disease that's going around?" The other cow answers, "Yeah, makes you glad you're a penguin, doesn"t it?"
What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
What do you call a gay dinosaur?…… Mega-sore-ass.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't because it won't come.
Chuck Norris can make a turtle go faster.
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with an elephant? An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots.
A turtle is crossing the road when he's mugged by two snails. When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, "I don't know. It all happened so fast."
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order. "I'd like to get the turtle soup, please." The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead. "Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Q: What is a turkey's favorite dessert? A: Peach gobbler.