Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?
He always said "Neigh"
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A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She called the police immediately to report the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch.
The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder.
She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning.
"What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer.
The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a blind policeman!"
What do ducks wear to party's?
A duck-sedo!
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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The Teacher asked Little Johnny,
"How can you prevent diseases caused by biting insects?"
Little Johnny replied, "Just Don't bite any."
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Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-day!
Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
The mouse and the elephant stay on the trunk of a smitten tree.
Near them passes the giraffe, who asks them:
Who pulled out this tree from his root?
Me off course, says the mouse, but the elephant helped a bit.
What do you call a show full of lions?
The mane event.
How do you tell if a black girls pregnant?
Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
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A plowhorse, a honeybee and an old geezer are debating about which of them is the greatest.
The horse says, "I can plow all day long to provide food for dozens of people!"
"
The bee says, "I pollinate all the plants every year and make honey besides!"
The old geezer says...
(We're waiting...)
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