Imagine that ur in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you.
What do you do?
U stop imagining...
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Baby, at midnight we celebrate one year from the last time you kissed me.
Look how time files!
Paddy got a job as a road line-painter.
He paints 5 miles on the first day, 2 miles on the second day and 1 on the third day.
"You get worse and worse every day!" yelled his boss.
"That is because the bucket gets further and further away every day." said Paddy.
A Russian captain is trying to explain to his comrades the effects of atomic bombs:
"Now, imagine 20 no, 40, no... a 100 cases of vodka and noone to drink them!"
"Do you know what the difference is between toilet paper and a shower curtain?"
"No"
"So, it was you!"
We must admit that we want to be like some animals.
We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
Chuck Norris lives on The Road Not Taken.
Vote:
Baby, baby, baby ooh!
Mom: *walks in* Are you listening to Justin Bieber?
Daughter: No, I'm watching porn.
Mom: Oh, thank goodness.
Hard work never killed anyone, but why chance it?
When a married man says "I'll think about it", what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.