Joke #4916

Imagine that ur in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you. What do you do? U stop imagining...

Two entrepreneurs, Jack and John, decided to start a bungee-jumping business south of the border. They went to Casa del Sol, Mexico, built a huge platform, and opened for business. By noon the first day, they both noticed that while everyone was watching, no one was buying tickets. Jack told John to go up and jump, so everyone could see how much fun it was, and then they would buy tickets and try it. John jumped, almost reached the ground, and sprang back up. Jack saw that his shirt was torn and his hair was mussed. John came down again and sprang back up. This time he had several bruises and his clothes were ripped to shreds. The third time down and back up, and he had several open wounds, a broken arm, and was bruised over most of his body. Jack quickly raised John to the platform and asked him what in the world was going on. John replied, "I’m not sure. Do you know what 'pinata' means?"

A man met a wonderful woman and became engaged to her. He called his mother to share his good news with her. He arranged to have dinner with his mother that evening so that she could meet his fiancee. When he arrived at her home, he brought along three women - a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. His mother inquired as to why he had brought three women, instead of just one. He replied that he wanted to see if his mother would be able to guess which one of the women was her future daughter-in-law. She looked at each one carefully and then replied: "It's the redhead." "How could you possibly have figured that out so quickly?" he inquired. She coldly replied, "Because I can't stand her."

Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather? A. Drizzle

Kid to a pregnant girl at bus stop: "What are you expecting?" The girl says, "A bus." The kid turns to his friend and says: "Wow! I am 100% sure this chick got screwed by a Transformer!"

What happened when the cannibal ate the speaking clock? It repeated on him.

‘I’ve found the secret of eternal youth. I lie about my age.’ Bob Hope How many boring people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

The old woman comes to a gynecologist. He inspects her and says with the surprice: An old woman, you're pregnant! How did you managed at your age...? Oh, those teens. They always asks to tell them everything, then show and give to try...

So I was at the local corner store one night and bought a pack of condoms. I went up to pay for them and the store clerk said would you like a bag? I said No, she's not that ugly. Then the 3 ladies behind me started giggling and I said wait sir, you'd better make that 3 packs.

A guy joins a monastery and takes a vow of silence: he's allowed to say two words every seven years. After the first seven years, the elders bring him in and ask for his two words. "Cold floors," he says. They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him back in and ask for his two words. He clears his throats and says, "Bad food." They nod and send him away. Seven more years pass. They bring him in for his two words. "I quit," he says. "That's not surprising," the elders say. "You've done nothing but complain since you got here."

Yesterday I tried to catch fog. Mist.