I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
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Q. What do Baghdad and Hiroshima have in common ?
A. Nothing, yet.
Having passed the enlistment physical, Jon was asked by the doctor, "Why do you want to join the Navy, son?"
"My father said it'd be a good idea, sir."
"Oh? And what does your father do?"
"He's in the Army, sir."
What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common?
Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.
As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, “All right! All you dummies fall out.”
As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention.
The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow.
I smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ‘em, huh sir?”
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate.
His orders were clear.
No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.
A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.
The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."
"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."
The general said, "Drive on!"
The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."
The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"
The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
Vote:
Diplomacy is the art of saying, "Nice Doggy", until your sniper gets the range.
Why do all Iraqi soldiers carry a piece of sandpaper?
They need a map.
Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ?
A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !
‘What were you in civilian life, soldier?’ ‘Happy, sir.’