Q: What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ?
A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !
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A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly.
The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say,
"That's not it" and put it down again.
This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested.
The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged, and wrote out his discharge from the army.
The soldier picked it up, smiled and said, "That's it."
How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?
Knock on the door.
Human blood type is usualy 0+, A+ or AB...
Chuck Norris blood tipe is AK-47
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Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex?
A: Gladiator.
Q:What not to say to the nice policeman?
A:I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, "I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning."
"Thank you very much, sir."
The 1982 Israeli invasion of Lebanon resulted in many dogfights between Syrian and Israeli jet fighters.
In the end, the Syrians lost over 80 planes and had a number of SAM batteries knocked out, while the Israelis lost no planes.
Sometime later, the Syrian Defense Minister was shopping for weapons in Moscow.
His host, the Soviet Defense Minister, was embarrassed about the scorecard from Lebanon.
He told his Syrian guest, “Take anything you want – our best tanks, rifles, or surface-to-air missiles.”
“No, no – you don’t understand!” the Syrian replied.
“Last time you gave us surface-to-air missiles. This time we need surface-to-*jet* missiles!”
How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th?
Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.
Q: How many Iraqis does it take to screw in a light bulb ?
A: None. They can't turn them on anyway.