Joke #3634

The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A man and a woman who have never met before find themselves in the same sleeping carriage of a train. After the initial embarrassment, they both manage to get to sleep, the woman on the top bunk, the man on the lower. In the middle of the night the woman leans over and says, "I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm awfully cold and I was wondering if you could possibly pass me another blanket." The man leans out and with a glint in his eye said "I've got a better idea, let's pretend we're married." "Why not," giggles the woman. "Good," he replies. "Get your own blanket."
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has 62.56 % from 389 votes. More jokes about: marriage
The wife bought a new see through nighty, wore it without any underclothes and came swinging before the husband. Aroused Husband says, "You look so beautiful and sexy my darling." The wife says, "I know that, I tried it the same way at the store and the salesman was the first one to tell me that."
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has 84.53 % from 952 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, sex, wife
Coming home after check-up, 45 year old Jenna said to her husband: "The doctor said that my brust is like a 20 year old girl’ brust." Husband replied: "Did he mention about your 45 year old hanged to the floor ass?" "No", she said. "Your name wasn’t even mentioned."
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: doctor, marriage
Wife: Do you want dinner? Husband: Sure, what are my choices? Wife: Yes and no.
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has 82.43 % from 288 votes. More jokes about: marriage
The old couple next door are having a ‘Football Romance’, each is waiting for the other to kick off so they can get some action.
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has 31.97 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A dentist, an electrician, and a carpenter decide to play a practical joke their best friend on his wedding night. "I'll loosen some joints on his bed so it collapses when he's making love," says the carpenter. "I'll hot wire his mattress so they'll feel immense heat while making love," says the electrician. "Those are good ideas," says the dentist. "But my contribution's going to be a real surprise." The next day the new husband comes to the diner to meet his friends. He says "I congratulate you guys for making the bed heat up and collapse, but I'm gonna kill whichever one of you put novocaine in the massage oil!"
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has 56.23 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, wedding
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
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has 53.35 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A man wanted Valentine's Day to be special, so he bought a bottle of absinthe and stopped by the florist's to order a bouquet of his wife's favorite flower: white anemones. Unfortunately, the florist was sold out of flowers and had only a few stems of feathery ferns. The man asked the florist to make a bouquet out of the ferns and the flask of liquor. He added a card and proceeded home. After a romantic candlelight dinner, he presented his wife with the gift. She opened the card to read, "Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder." With a tear in her eye, she whispered to him lovingly, "Yes, and with fronds like these, who needs anemones."
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has 78.65 % from 199 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, marriage, romantic, Valentines day, wife
Q: Why do brides smile while they walk down the wedding aisle? A: They realize they've given their last blow jobs.
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has 84.18 % from 278 votes. More jokes about: marriage
I got really love sick the other day working away from home. Went to the doctors and they said it was chlamydia.
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has 26.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: doctor, marriage