Joke #3634

The other day I sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I rang her up, I said ''Did you get my drift?''.
Vote: has 30.11 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

An older couple, who were both widowed, had been going out with each other for a long time. Urged on by their friends, they decided it was finally time to get married. Before the wedding, they went out to dinner and had a long conversation regarding how their marriage might work. They discussed finances, living arrangements, and so on. Finally, the old gentleman decided it was time to broach the subject of their physical relationship. "How do you feel about s*x?" he asked, rather tentatively. "I would like it infrequently ", she replied. The old gentleman sat quietly for a moment, adjusted his glasses, then leaned over towards her and whispered, "Is that one word or two?"
Vote: has 86.05 % from 1263 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, marriage, old people, sex
I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning." "What is she doing?", the pal asks. "Waiting for me to get home."
Vote: has 51.81 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, time, wife
Looking back over the years that we’ve been together, I can’t help but wonder: what the hell was I thinking? ‘Eighty per cent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.’ Jackie Mason
Vote: has 62.39 % from 74 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
What do you do if your best friend runs off with your husband? Miss her. Pity her.
Vote: has 30.43 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Vote: has 86.69 % from 211 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage
A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife decided to make a wish, too. But she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled and said, “It really works!”
Vote: has 47.21 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
Husband: Knocks the door at midnight. Wife: Go back where you coming from! Husband: Open the door or I throw myself in the swimming pool! Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care? So the husband stands near the dark part of the gate and waits for 2 minutes, takes a big stone and throws it into the swimming pool. !!!!..Scheweew..!!!! Wife hears and opens the door and runs towards the swimming pool. The husband quickly sneaks into the house then locks the door. Wife: Open the door or I will shout!! Husband: Shout till all the neighbours wakes up and comes here. Tell them where you are coming from by this time of the night with only a panty and a bra!
Vote: has 85.39 % from 340 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, husband, marriage, time, wife
Husband: Want a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?
Vote: has 86.90 % from 285 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?" Husband: "Yeah... Why?" Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
Vote: has 55.71 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, fish, marriage, wife
For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks her husband what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie. He says, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and f**k your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" He says, "I think I did a good job."
Vote: has 51.52 % from 175 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage