There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest..
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year?
"Forty-eight years old."
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
What do you call a woman that works like a man??
Lazy.
Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.
Two strangers meet on a golf course and decide to play together.
One man says, "I'm a salesman. What about you?"
"I'm a hit man for the mob," replies the second man.
He pulls out a high powered rifle loaded with scopes and sights.
He then asks the man where he lives.
Nervously, the first man replies, "In a subdivision just west of here. Gray roof, yellow siding."
"You got a silver compact and a red pickup?"
"The compact is my wife's car, but that's my buddy Jeff's truck."
The hit man looks through the scope again. "Well, they're going at it like teenagers in your bedroom."
"I want you to shoot her in the head and shoot him in the balls."
The hit man says, "I get paid $5,000 per shot."
"I don't care! Just do it!"
The hit man takes careful aim and says, "This is your lucky day. You're going to get a two for one!"
Q: What do you get if you cross a dirty politician with a filthy womanizer?
A: Chelsea.
3 guys walk into a bar
The first guy says "I have got the smallest arm in? the world"
The second guy "I have the smallest head in the world"
The third guy "I have got the smallest d*ck in the world"
The 3 guys go to the Guinness World Records.
The first guy comes back and says "I really do have the smallest arm in the world"
The second guy comes back and says "Amazing, I do have the smallest head in the world"
The third guy comes back angry " Who the F*CK is JUSTIN BEIBER?
Stupid?
He wanted to be a farmer.
So he studied pharmacy.
A man standing at a urinal notices that he's being watched by a midget.
"Wow," comments the midget. "Those are the nicest balls I have ever seen!"
Surprised and flattered, the man thanks the midget and continues to pee.
Suddenly, the midget pulls up a step ladder right next to the urinal and says, "Listen, I know this is a rather strange request, but as they're so admirable, I wonder if I could take a closer look."
Again the man is rather startled, but sees no real harm in it.
Just then, the midget reaches out, gets a tight grip on the man's balls, and says, "OK, hand me your wallet, or I'll jump off the ladder!"