How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
A pirate was on his ship and his watchman comes to him and says, "1 enemy ship on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my red shirt, no men get injured or die." So the watchman comes to him and asks, "Why did you want your red shirt?" The captain says, "Because if i get injured they won't see and keep on fighting." So the watchman comes to him again and says, "20 enemy ships on the horizont." The captain says, "Bring me my brown pants."
In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
Yo moma so fat that when I tried to have sex with her I burned my ass off the lightbulb.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog? A.A dog is always happy to see you B.A dog only takes a couple of months to train.
Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.