How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off." The man replies, "And how would you do that?" The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?" The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb." The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off." The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?" The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One...men will screw anything.
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
How many men does it take to screw a light bulb? A. One - men will screw anything. B. One - men will screw up anything. C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
Q: How Many White People Does it Take To Screw In a Lightbulb? A: None, they get a nigger to do it.
Husband: What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you? Wife: Turn sideways and look in the mirror.
A priest and a shepherd from Australia participate in a TV game. After answering all the questions, there is a tie. So both are given one final assignment. It is to write a poem in three minutes, using the word "Timbuktu". It is city in Africa. The priest returns with the fruit of his inspiration: "I was a father all my life, I had no children, had no wife, I read the bible through and through on my way to Timbuktu ... " The poem makes a great impression, and the priest smells a sweet victory. But then comes the shepherd, with his winning masterpiece: "When Tim and I to Brisbane went We met three women cheap to rent. They were three and we were two, So I booked one and Tim Booked Two ... "
How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, but he is never around when you need him.
Q. What do you call a sensitive, intelligent man? A. An oxymoron.