How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
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Two factory workers are talking.
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see."
She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."
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Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. Men will screw anything.
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How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One...men will screw anything.
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How many men does it take to screw a light bulb?
A. One - men will screw anything.
B. One - men will screw up anything.
C. Five - one to actually do the screwing, four to listen to him brag about it.
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Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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Q: How many Asian girls does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, 'cause they couldn't reach it.
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Q: How big is a Republican-size bed?
A: Wide enough for the man, the woman, and the ten-foot pole.
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A plane is descending rapidly from the air, and the passengers are all scared stiff.
Suddenly a women near the front of the plane stands up and takes off her shirt.
She proceeds to yell, "Is there a man on this plane that can make me feel like a REAL woman before I die?!"
She continues to yell this for about ten minutes before a man in the very back takes a stand. He proceeds to say "Yeah I can make you feel like a woman."
He then takes off his shirt and throws it towards her and says, "Here! Iron this!"
I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say.
So I said yes.
I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.