Why does a penis have a hole at the end?
So guys can be open-minded.
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Did you hear about the man who won the gold medal at the Olympics?
He had it bronzed.
What's the best way to force a man to do sit-ups?
Put the remote control between his toes.
"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?"
"Because I'm Christine."
Question: Why do men die before their wives?
Answer: Because they want to.
Men are like.....Bank Machines.
Once they withdraw they lose interest.
"Ever since we got married, my wife has tried to change me. She got me to stop drinking, smoking and running around until all hours of the night. She taught me how to dress well, enjoy the fine arts, gourmet cooking, classical music, even how to invest in the stock market," said the man.
"Sounds like you may be bitter because she changed you so drastically," remarked his friend.
"I'm not bitter. Now that I'm so improved, she just isn't good enough for me."
Why are all jokes about women one-liners?
So men can understand them.
Why do men like masturbation?
It's sex with someone they love.
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."