Joke #5598

Why does a penis have a hole at the end? So guys can be open-minded.
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has 71.43 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men

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A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work. These are food, family, and philosophy." The boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like spinach?" She says "No," and the silence returns. After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says "No" and there is silence once again. The boy then plays his last card. He thinks of his father's advice and asks the girl the following question: "If you had a brother, would he like spinach?"
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has 55.49 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: dating, men
A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation. The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..." "Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman." Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..." "Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man." "Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom." "Why, honey?" "Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
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has 83.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: men
Men call us birds, is that because of all the worms we pick up?
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: bird, men
Why are men like laxatives? They can irritate the s**t out of you.
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has 56.86 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: men
What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business? 1) No mind. 2) No business.
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: business, men
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps tables for players when a gorgeous blonde lady walked in and asked if they minded if she bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely naked." With that, she stripped off all her clothes and then rolled the dice while yelling "Come on baby, momma needs new clothes!" She then jumped up and down, hugging each of the casino dealers while yelling "YES, I WIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I WIN!!" With that, she picked up her winnings and clothes and quickly left. The dealers stood there staring at each other dumbfounded, until one finally asked the other, "What the hell did she roll anyway?" The second dealer answered, "I thought you were paying attention!"
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has 84.10 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: men
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: men
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
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has 68.01 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
Men are like... Chocolate Bars. Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: chocolate, food, men, sex
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
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has 66.27 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: death, men, military, women