They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming.
Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
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Chuck Norris scares cows so bad, milk comes out their nose.
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Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
What book did the rabbit take on vacation?
One with a hoppy ending.
What to polar bears eat for lunch?
(Ice berg-ers!)
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a nigger?
The pigeon is white and the nigger can’t fly!
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If you had a gun and you were being chased by a bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first?
The mountain lion.
You can always shoot the bull.
A New Zealander walking along the road with a sheep under each arm.
He meets another New Zealander who says "you sheerin' mate?" and the first guy replies "naw, they're all mine"
What do you get from a short-legged cow?
Dragon milk.
A lion once put his head inside the mouth of Chuck Norris.
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How do you tell if a black girls pregnant?
Shove a banana up her vagina and if you pull it out half eaten then you got a monkey on the way.
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