They say animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming.
Like the night before that last earthquake hit, our family dog took the car keys and drove to Arizona.
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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says ''Your eyes sparkle like diamonds''.
I said, ''Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck'
If they bring shrimp home on shrimp boats, fish home on fish boats, and clams home on clam boats, what do they bring crabs home on?
The Captains Dinghy!
Teacher: "Name five things that contain milk."
Pupil: "Butter, cheese, ice cream … and two cows."
A woman and her friend are visiting the zoo.
They are standing in front of the big silver back gorillas cage when one woman makes a gesture that the gorilla interprets as an invitation. He grabs her, yanks her over the fence, and takes her to his nest in the pen.
There he ravishes her and makes passionate love to her for about 2 hours till he is tranquilized, and the lady taken to hospital.
Her friend, deeply concerned, visits her the next day.
“Are you hurt?” she asks.
She replies, “Of course I’m hurt! He hasn’t called! He hasn’t written!”
What kind of cows do you find in Alaska?
Eski-moos.
What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole?
A Hot Cross bunny.
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
It was the chicken's day off.
What do you call a cow that doesn't give milk?
A milk dud.
Q: What is a bee that cant make up his mind?
A: A maybe.
