Joke #4502

Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
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A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
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What do you call a herd of cows in a psychiatrists office? An encownter group.
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Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh!
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Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with. JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?" BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me." JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father." BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!" JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?" BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto." JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?" BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
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What is a cow's favorite lunch meat? Bullogna.
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Local mountain lions have been complaining about the recent string of Chuck Norris attacks.
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Did you hear about the man with five keen senses? He still lacked common and horse!
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Why did the dinosaur have so few friends? Because Tyrannosaurus reeks!
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What is a bear's favourite drink? Koka-Koala.
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