Joke #4502

Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
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Johnny, George, and Bert were driving along in their pickup when they saw a sheep caught in the fence with its hind end up in the air. Bert said, "I wish that was Sharon Stone." George echoed, "I wish it was Demi Moore." Little Johnny sighed, "I wish it was dark..."
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Yo mama's so fat, Godzilla tried to f**k her and fell in.
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Why do zebras have stripes? Because the spots where all over.
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A mailman meets a boy and a huge dog. ‘Does your dog bite?’ asks the mailman. ‘No,’ replies the boy. And the dog bites the mailman’s leg. ‘You said he doesn’t bite!’ yells the mailman. ‘That’s not my dog,’ replies the boy.
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What should you call a bald teddy? Fred bear .
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What's three meters high and jumps every ten seconds? A dinosaur with the hiccups.
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Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano? A: Crabs on your organ.
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Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
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What lives in the ocean, is grouchy and hates neighbours? A hermit crab.
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Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
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