Joke #4502

Mother to little boy: ‘Stop pulling the cat’s tail.’ Boy: ‘I’m not. I’m just holding it. It’s the cat that’s doing the pulling.’
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal

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A guy goes into an antique shop. He's browsing around the shop and comes across a brass rat. He picks up the rat and is looking at it when the shop owner approaches him. He asks the owner how much the Brass Rat is. The shop owner says $20 For the rat and $10 for the story behind it. The customers say I don't need to know the story but I'll buy the rat. So he pays for the rat and leaves the shop. After about 50 yards he hears a Wierd noise behind him and so looks around. There's a bunch of rats following him so he picks up the pace a walks faster but the noise gets louder. He glances behind and there are hundreds of rats following him so he starts to run. Still, the noise gets louder and there are thousands of rats chasing him. He comes to a bridge over the river and thinks the rats are chasing him because of the Brass Rat, he has so he throws the rat as far as he can into the river. All the rats that were chasing him then all jump into the river and drown. The guy thinks for a while and then walks back to the shop. As he enters the shop the owner who saw him coming said I bet you came back for the story behind the Brass Rat did you? The customer says no I didn't. Have you got a brass Nigger?
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has 32.41 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: animal, business, customer service, money, racist
Q: Why are lawyers never attacked by sharks? A: Professional courtesy.
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has 74.28 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer, work
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
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has 60.84 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fart, parrot
YOUR MOMS HOUSE IS SO POOR I WENT TO KNOCK ON HER DOOR AND A ROACH TRIPPED ME AND A RAT TOOK MY WALET.
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has 24.64 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: animal, Yo mama
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
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has 68.42 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, dirty, sex
What does a spider do when he gets angry? He goes up the wall!
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
Paddy and his two friends are talking at a bar. His first friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the electrician. The other day I came home and found wire cutters under our bed and they weren't mine." His second friend says: "I think my wife is having an affair with the plumber. The other day I found a wrench under the bed and it wasn't mine." Paddy says: "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse." Both his friends look at him with utter disbelief. "No, I'm serious. The other day I came home and found a jockey under our bed."
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has 74.97 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, sex, wife
Why did the jellyfish's wife leave him? He stung her into action.
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has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, wife
Why was the little bear so spoiled? Because its mother panda d to its every whim.
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has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal