Joke #3690

Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbitt was almost killed in a traffic accident? A: Some dick cut her off.
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has 36.09 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: cop

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A policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders, but was not getting many. Then, he discovered the problem; a 10 year old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read, "SPEED TRAP AHEAD". The officer then found a young accomplice down the road with a sign painted "TIPS" and a bucket of change.
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has 80.88 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: cop
An old lady was speeding down the highway while she was knitting. A cop sees this and speeds up alongside her vehicle. "Pullover!" the cop says "No!" the woman replied, "They're mittens!"
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has 78.13 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: cop
Me: Can I call an officer a pussy? Cop: No. Me: Can I call a pussy 'officer?' Cop: I guess you could... Me: Goodnight, officer
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has 63.74 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: cop, dirty
A blonde get's in her car and notices her steering wheel, dashboard, and windshield is missing. She calls the police and reports a theft. When the police officer comes, he looks at the blonde who is crying and and says, "Ma'am...you're sitting in the backseat..."
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has 80.72 % from 150 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, cop
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”
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has 16.16 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: cop
A female police officer pulls over a drunk driver Officer: "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say or do can and will be held against you in the court of law." Driver: "Tits"
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has 80.42 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: cop
A panda bear walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich. When he receives the sandwich he eats it and then shoots the waiter and leaves the restaurant. A policeman sees the panda and tells him he just broke the law. The panda bear tells the policeman that he's innocent and, if he didn't believe him, to look in the dictionary. The policeman gets a dictionary and looks up "panda bear." It says, "Panda Bear: eats shoots and leaves."
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, lawyer
The cop got out of his car and the kid, that was stopped for speeding, rolled down his window. "I've been waiting for you all day," the cop said. The guy replied, "Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could." When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: cop
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned: “I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!”
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: cop
A rabbi and a priest crash into each other at a four-way junction. They both get out of their cars and look at the wreck. They both thank God they are OK, and the priest says, ‘This must be a sign that God wanted us to meet.’ The rabbi says, ‘Yes, indeed, let’s drink.’ So the rabbi gets out some wine. They toast each other and the priest drinks his glass. But the rabbi doesn’t take a taste of his drink. Priest: ‘Why aren’t you drinking?’ Rabbi: ‘I’m waiting for the police.’
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: cop, mean, priest, vulgar, wine