Joke #3702

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
Vote:
has 74.89 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: dirty

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A priest is walking through town at his new parish when a hooker approaches him. "Blowjobs for $20 if you're interested". Confused by this he smiles, blesses her and goes back to the church. He sees one of the nuns and asks her, "Sister, what's a blowjob?" She replies, "$20. Same as in town".
Vote:
has 80.08 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A drunk guy is sitting at a bar by himself one night and throws up all over the front of his shirt. "Oh great, my wife is going to kill me," he mumbles to himself. The guy sitting next to him sees what has happened and leans over towards him, "Hey buddy, just put a twenty dollar bill in your shirt pocket and when you get home tell your wife the guy sitting next to you threw up on you and he gave you $20 to get your shirt cleaned." Completely inebriated the drunk man thanks his new friend and puts a twenty in his shirt pocket and heads for home. As soon as he walks through the front door his wife becomes irate and starts yelling at him, "Where have you been? you're completely drunk and you're a mess. Look at yourself, you puked all over the front of your shirt." Completely wasted and slurring his words he explains to the wife, "No no, the guy sitting next to me threw up on my shirt and he gave me $20 to get it cleaned. Look, it's right here in my shirt pocket." The wife reaches into his pocket and pulls out the money, "There's $40 in here." "Oh yeah, he shit in my pants too."
Vote:
has 76.54 % from 137 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, disgusting
Two gays were at a dance. As they were jigging about the floor with each other. Two massive guys entered the hall 6 foot 6 20 stone and full of muscle One gay asked his mate "Is that the bouncers that have just come in?" "No" grinned the other,"That's the raffle."
Vote:
has 56.65 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, men, party
You don't have to wait until midnight to see my balls drop.
Vote:
has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: dirty, new year
Q: How do you cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? A: Tell them you can't cum.
Vote:
has 77.10 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation
A father, mother, and son were going to Europe and were going to visit the nude beaches while they were there. They didn't want the son to get a distorted view of beauty, so they told him, "The men with really big dicks and the girls with really, really big boobs were both really, really dumb." When they got to the beach they split up. Later the mother saw the son and asked where his dad was. The boy said, ''Well, the last time I saw him he was talking to this really, really, dumb blonde, and the longer they talked, the dumber he got.''
Vote:
has 83.18 % from 321 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Wife says to husband, "You make love like you decorate." Husband replies, "What very slow and professional?" "NO,"she replies, "I have to finish the job myself."
Vote:
has 81.30 % from 276 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm. He walks up to his wife with it and says, "This is the pig I've been f*cking'." His wife says, "That's a duck." He quickly replies, "I wasn't talking to you."
Vote:
has 63.17 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, wife
"Johny, please, tell us, what do you do the whole day, so?" "So, in the morning I cut the wood, sometimes with both hands, 5 minutes a day I play the guitar, to tell the truth. And in the afternoon I go to my garden to water the flowers. The lilies of the valleys and may-flowers I water most likely. Yes, they are really cute. Then I tear the leaflets to find out if the neighbor (her husband is not at home) loves me or not. The last time it came out that she loves me, fuck."
Vote:
has 29.75 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, love, music, time
What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick.
Vote:
has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty