Joke #3702

Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
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Daughter: Dad, this guy told me the sweetest thing ever. Me: What's that hunny? Daughter: He said I had nice bumper lights, and a nice trunk. Me: Tell that niggie if he fills up your gas tank, I'll break his exhaust pipe, ya dig?
Vote: has 65.20 % from 192 votes. Send joke:
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Your legs are like an Oreo Cookie - I wanna split them and eat all the good stuff in the middle.
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What did the two tampons say to eachother? Nothing , because they were both stuck up bitches.
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A guy went to an electric shop and said: "By a lot of excuse, do you mind me to buy a lamp please?" A manager said: "It isn't necessarily so much apologizes for buying a lamp." The guy said: "Sorry I wanted for installing it in WC."
Vote: has 65.53 % from 78 votes. Send joke:
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I had to get an Xbox controller tattooed on my vagina. So my boyfriend would play with me for a change.
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Q: When does a cub become a boy scout? A: When he eats his first Brownie.
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A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working. He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock. The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP". I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
Vote: has 75.20 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
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A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms. The cashier asks him if he wants a bag. He responds, "No, she's not that ugly."
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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other. One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each. Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet. Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle. Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world. Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
Vote: has 84.52 % from 1783 votes. Send joke:
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What is 6 inches long, hard, goes into your mouth back and fourth, and has white stuff at the end. A toothbrush with toothpaste
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