Joke #1487

Girl: Hey wanna know what gets my pussy wet? Boy: what? ;) Girl: Toilet water when I shit out a small whale.
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has 48.35 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store. The store clerk called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery. He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns at the Catholic Hospital. A nun was seated next to his bed holding a clipboard loaded with several forms, and a pen. She asked him how he was going to pay for his treatment. “Do you have health insurance?” she asked. He replied in a raspy voice, “No health insurance.” The nun asked, “Do you have money in the bank?” He replied, “No money in the bank.” Do you have a relative who could help you with the payments?” asked the irritated nun. He said, “I only have a spinster sister, and she is a nun.” The nun became agitated and announced loudly, “Nuns are not spinsters! Nuns are married to God.” The patient replied, “Perfect. Send the bill to my brother-in-law.”
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has 81.64 % from 263 votes. More jokes about: dirty
I got in trouble for telling a joke in 5th grade. Now I have to keep 250 feet away from all schools...
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has 56.92 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: black humor, communication, dirty, school
Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? A: I can't get a hard-on because I was just layed.
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has 33.22 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: dirty, food
Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch? A: A whore fucks everybody and a bitch fucks everybody but you.
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has 74.33 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, vulgar, women
Q: Why is Chelsea Clinton growing up a confused child? A: Because dad can’t keep his pants on and mom wants to wear them.
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has 60.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What did I do in the bed last night. A: Your mom.
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has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, sex
One day a women walks into work in a short skirt. As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says, “Your hair smells really nice today.” She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office. She says,”I want to file a sexual harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened. The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?” Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”
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has 67.51 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
What do your parents' car and testicles have in common? Hit either one of them and you're grounded.
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has 63.61 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: car, dirty, family
Q: What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? A: You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.
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has 65.56 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty
Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate? A: Fuck if I know
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has 32.82 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: dirty