Joke #3719

Why do bears have fur coats? (Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
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has 36.46 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: kids

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Little Johnny was watching TV with his mother. Johnny: "Why is this tampon commercial so long?" Mother: "This is my favorite show called 90210." Johnny: ...
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
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Why is it nice being a baby? It’s a nappy time.
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A couple had been married for 50 years and had raised a brood of 10 children and was blessed with 20 grandchildren. When asked the secret for staying together all that time, the wife replies, "Many years ago we made a promise to each other: the first one to pack up and leave has to take all the kids."
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has 53.30 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, time
One day, Muhammad's wife called him a pedophile. In response, Muhammad asked his wife, "So, how does a 9-year-old know such a big word like that?"
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has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, black humor, communication, kids, wife
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
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has 42.06 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dating, kids, money, sex
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, “Don’t get excited, Albert; don’t scream, Albert; don’t yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert.” A woman standing next to him said, “You certainly are to be commended for trying to soothe your son, Albert.” The man looked at her and said, “Lady, I’m Albert.”
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has 72.43 % from 99 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
How did the Vikings send secret messages? By norse code! Why did the knight run about shouting for a tin opneder? He had a bee in his suit of armour! Teacher: Who can tell me where Hadrians Wall is? Pupil: I expect it’s around Hadrian’s garden miss! Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? Because there were so many knights!
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has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: history, kids
A policeman caught a mischievous little boy with a penknife in one hand and a squirrel in the other. "Now listen here," the policeman said, "Whatever you do to that poor, innocent creature I shall personally do to you." "In that case," said the boy, "I'll give it lots of chocolates as well as all my money and let it go."
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has 81.65 % from 251 votes. More jokes about: animal, cop, food, kids, money
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
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has 26.77 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids