Why do bears have fur coats? (Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
Heres what you do: 1. Dinner 2. Kiss 3. Movie 4. Sex 5. Bring her back home 6. Get paid 15 bucks for babysitting
A team of doctors attended the delivery of quintuplets who were able to walk immediately after the umbilical cords were cut. The senior doctor was asked to explain this unusual occurrence. ‘I guess they had a lot of practice,’ said the doctor. ‘What do you mean, “practice”?’ asked a junior colleague. ‘They were just born!’ The doctor replied, ‘Well, it was standing womb only.’
Q: What did the little black boy say as he was sliding down a zebra? A: Now you see me, now you don't, now you see me, now you don't...
"Where did you born?" "At the hospital!" "Don’t tell me! And what were you in for?"
Sometimes I wonder if I'm pregnant and then I realize I would have to be like 19 months pregnant.
Q:How does a bear start a race? A: READY, TEDDY, GO!
Why is it nice being a baby? It’s a nappy time.
A man and wife were making love. When thay saw there 8 year old son at the door crying the dad started laughing and the boy ran away. Mom said "You better fix this now." The dad couldn't find the boy anywhere unwell he hurd a loud noise conning from grandma's room so he opened up the door and there was the boy putting his "wood" to grandma. The dad screamed "What the fuck." The boy said "It aims so funny when it's your mom is it."
One day,little Timmy was at school and heard the word “shit”. He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him “coats and jackets”. Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word “fucking”, and for a second time, asked his father what it meant. His father promptly said “cooking”. Then,he returned to school the third day and heard the words “bitches and hoes”. He went home and his father told him it meant “grandpa and grandma”. Later,on Thanksgiving night,his grandparents came over. Timmy answered the door with glee and says: “Hey bitches and hoes! I’ll take your shit to the closet cause dad’s in the kitchen fucking the turkey!"
What do you give a cat for its birthday? A catologue.