Why do bears have fur coats? (Because they look silly wearing jackets!)
Anxiety: Getting up to see why the baby isn’t crying.
A group of children once said, "Red rover, red rover, send Chuck Norris over." Those children were the dinosaurs.
Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: They don't know where home is.
What did the red light say to the green light? Don't look I'm changing!
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
When Chuck Norris was a kid he taught his parents to stay away from strangers.
Yo' Mama is so stupid, she gave your kids a "Yo' Grandmama Is So Stupid" joke book.
The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.
What is the hardest part of making shoe fly pie? Putting the shoes on the flies!
Chuck Norris has 2 kids. We know them as Pain and Suffering.