The tax advisor had just read the story of Cinderella to his four-year-old daughter for the first time. The little girl was fascinated by the story, especially the part where the pumpkin turns into a golden coach. Suddenly she piped up, "Daddy, when the pumpkin turned into a golden coach, would that be classed as income or a long-term capital gain?"
Accountant after reading a nursery rhyme to his child,"No, son. It wouldn't be tax deductible when Little Bo Peep loses her sheep. But I like your thinking."
Q: What is Father Christmas's tax status? A: Elf-employed.
I was walking by a car filled with black kids, and I heard a *click* as they locked the doors. I felt like such a bad-ass until I realized it was my car.
A mother was teaching his child about the side-effects of alcohol. She gets two short glasses, filling one with water and the other with whiskey. She says "I want you to see this." She puts a worm in the water, and it swims around. She puts a worm in the whiskey, and the worm dies immediately. She then says, feeling that she has made her point clear, "what do you have to say about this experiment?" The child responds by saying: "If I drink whiskey, I won't get worms!"
Did you hear about the cannibal Tax Accountant? She charges an arm and a leg.
I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money!
I hate paying my income tax. You should be a good citizen - why don't you pay with a smile? I'd like to but they insist on money.
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight," the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?" The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. He saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either one."
Little Johnny and Mary were standing at the beach in their bathing suits. Johnny says to Mary, hey you show me yours and I'll show you mine. Mary says ok, and drops her bathing suit the same time as Johnie. He look and gasps you don't got one of these, but Mary laughs and says Yea, but with one of these I can get as many of those I want.
*Wakes up to wife and son screaming* Me: "What are you guys yelling about?" Them: "You're driving!"