Joke #4250

He was so poor all he had to wear as a boy were hand-me-downs. The real shame was that he had five older sisters.
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has 19.47 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money

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Three animals were having a drink in a cafe, when the owner asked for the money. I'm not paying," said the duck. "I've only got one bill and I'm not breaking it." "I've spent my last buck," said the deer. "Then the duck'll have to pay," said the skunk. "Getting here cost me my last scent."
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has 24.15 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, money
Yo mama is so poor that she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: insulting, money, Yo mama
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. "You should give that money to charity", said the shopkeeper. "No, I'll buy the chocolate. YOU give the money to charity!"
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has 24.28 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: food, money
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: money
Q: Why is horse racing so romantic? A: Because the horse hugs the rails, the jockey puts his arms around the horse and you can kiss your money goodbye.
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has 72.56 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: horse, money, romantic, sport
The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: kids, money, wine
If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: money
Billy, learned at school that everybody has secrets. So, he decided to take advantage of it. One day, as he came home from school, he went in front of his mother and told her: "Mommy, mommy! I know everything!" His mom, obviously scared to death: "Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your father about it, okay?" "Okay mommy!" says Billy and leaves the room with a big smile on his face. When his dad came from work, he did the same to him as well: "Daddy, daddy! I found out everything!" Numb, his father puts his hand on his pocket: "Here, take a 100 euros and say NOTHING to your mother, okay?" "Okay!" says Billy with a bigger smile on his face. The next morning, on his way to school, he sees the Postman. He thought he could try it to him too: "Mr. Focker, I know everything!" The Postman, the minute he heard it, fell on his knees and wide opened his arms: "Then, come... Come closer... My son!"
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has 82.09 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: dad, death, kids, money, school
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol. 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
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has 62.40 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, holiday, money, winter, work
A bill collector came to my house the other day, so I gave him a huge stack of old bills.
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has 72.71 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, work