Joke #3737

‘During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.’ Rodney Dangerfield
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has 54.14 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A man asks his wife during a 25 marriage anniversary: Darling, have you been unfaithful to me? Yes, honey, three times. When was the first time? Do you remember the situation when you went to a bank, but nobody would give you any credit? And finally the CEO of the bank himself signed the credit allowance to you. Thanks, darling. And when was the second time? Do you remember when you were very ill and nobody would agree to make the surgery for you? And finally the head of the department took care of you? Thank you darling, you saved my life. And with whom have you been unfaithful to me for the third time? Do you remember when you were a candidate to the position of city mayor and you were missing 36 votes?
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has 75.26 % from 711 votes. More jokes about: sex
Some newly-weds arrive to the hotel and the girl very afraid tells her husband: "Honey, I don't know nothing of this, can you help me, please?" I will Honey, starting from this instant, we will call your thing the prison and my thing will we call the prisoner, so... we will put the prisoner in the prison" And they throw the first one. and the guy is laying face up on the bed, but the girl was delighted and tells her husband: "Love, the prisoner is outside the prison!!!" The guy not very delighted tells her: "Lets put him into the prison another time!!" And the second ...but the girl is very sweet-toothed and she tells him: "!! Honey !!!... .The prisoner is out again!!!" The man rises, with the legs like a recently born foal. And they throw the third!!! He is laying on the bed, exhausted and the girl says: "!!! Honey, the prisoner escaped again!!!" And he answers with his last breath: "HEY !, It's not life imprisonment!!
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has 67.25 % from 297 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, love, prison, sex
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
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has 67.09 % from 130 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Q: Why did Daft Punk spend the night with a Leprechaun? A: He was "Up all night to get lucky"
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has 61.38 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: sex
A young , attractive woman thought she might have some fun with a stiff-looking military man at a cocktail party, so she walked over and asked him, “Major, when was the last time you had sex?” “1956,” was his reply. “No wonder you look so uptight!” she exclaimed. “Major, you need to get out more!” “I’m not sure I understand you,” he answered, glancing at his watch, ”It’s only 2014 now.”
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has 75.45 % from 360 votes. More jokes about: sex, time, women
Are your legs made of Nutella? Because I'd love to spread them!
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My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps. Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
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has 38.34 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: sex
What did the Irish spinster keep saying in her prayers? ‘Good Lord, please have Murphy on me…’
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Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
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has 70.92 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, flirt, game, sex
A man goes to the doctor for his annual check-up, and the doctor tells him, "You need to stop masturbating." The man asks, "Why?" The doctor replies, "Because I'm trying to examine you"
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has 78.64 % from 471 votes. More jokes about: sex