‘I’m a bad lover. Once I caught a peeping Tom booing me.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
‘Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.’ Rodney Dangerfield
Q: What do a gynaecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common? A: They can both smell it, but can't eat it.
My doctor examined my testicles for me and found two small lumps. Luckily it turned out they were my testicles.
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
Q. What do you call a rabbit with a bent dick? A. Fucks Funny!
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Q: Why is life like a penis? A: Women make it hard!
A guy stuck his head into a barbershop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop full of customers and said, "About 2 hours." The guy left. A few days later, the same guy stuck his head in the door and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around at the shop and said, "About 3 hours." The guy left. A week later, the same guy stuck his head in the shop and asked, "How long before I can get a haircut?" The barber looked around the shop and said, "About an hour and a half." The guy left. The barber turned to his friend and said, "Hey, Bob, do me a favor, follow him and see where he goes. He keeps asking how long he has to wait for a haircut, but he never comes back." A little while later, Bob returned to the shop, laughing hysterically. The barber asked, "So, where does he go when he leaves?" Bob looked up, wiped the tears from his eyes and said, "Your house!"
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".