Joke #3746

‘Why don’t oysters give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.’ Jay Leno
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has 57.36 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money

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A guy is driving his car and finds a friend crying, sitting on the road. He stops. And he asks him: - Hey, What happens to you? - (crying) Look! and he points a crashed car. - Well, don't care and buy another car. - Look inside the car! - Well, don't care and get another blonde, and that's all. - Look inside her mouth!!!
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has 68.78 % from 343 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, money, sex
Why is money called dough? Because we all knead it!
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has 25.67 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: money
In Chuck Norris' yard, money does grow on trees.
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has 75.96 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange some things for you," the devil said. "I'll increase your income five-fold. Your partners will love you; your clients will respect you; you'll have four months of vacation each year and live to be a hundred. All I require in return is that your wife's soul, your children's souls, and their children's souls rot in hell for eternity." The lawyer thought for a moment. "What's the catch?" he asked.
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has 65.14 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, money, wife
Q: What's the best way of investing your money? A: Alcohol, where else do you get 40%?
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, money
A plumber went to the attorneys house to unstop the sink. When he finished he said to the attorney "that will be $400.00." The attorney became irate "What do you mean $400.00, you were only here 20 minutes, that's ridiculous!!" The plumber replied, "I thought the same thing when I was an attorney".
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has 75.97 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, time
Yo mama so poor when I ring her buzzer she says, "bzzzzzzzzz."
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-fucking-believable!"
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: money
There are a hundred holes in the body of a woman; one of them would be filled with a penis and 99 others could be filled with money.
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, mean, money, sex, women
OK, who put a stop payment on my reality check?
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has 34.78 % from 6 votes. More jokes about: money