‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience.
Between five it’s fantastic!’
Woody Allen
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I’m not cheap, but I am on special this week.
*My dad helping me find a gf*
Dad: What do you want most in a woman?
Me: My dick.
*Grounded and high fived*
Q:What did the black girl say while having sex?
A:Dad get off me your crushing my ciggs.
They say sex is a killer...
Do you want to die happy?
Vote:
Good: Your daughter has got a new job.
Bad: As a call girl. Ugly: Your co-workers are her best clients.
Very ugly: She makes more money than you.
Today in lesson Little Jonny went to the back of the room and Miss McRacen went "Not in the back."
Jonny: "That's what she said."
Miss: "Get out!"
Jonny "She said that too."
Vote:
My mate down the pub asked me last night "Why do you have so many sex noises saved to your phone?"
I said, "It's for sound effects during sex."
He asked, "Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?"
I replied, "No, I work in a morgue."
Men and women can be friends without any sex involved.
It's called marriage.
A woman, after giving birth to six babies, upon seeing her husband gets up off the hospital bed, walks over to him shouting "I told you not to go doggy style!"