‘I believe that sex between two people is a beautiful experience.
Between five it’s fantastic!’
Woody Allen
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Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex?
Girl: A threesome.
Boy: What's it called when two people have sex?
Girl: A twosome.
Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
Every Man needs a Beautiful wife, intelligent wife, caring wife, loving wife, sexy wife, adjusting & cooperative wife, but it's sad that law allows only one wife.
My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
Vote:
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A: They have cotton balls.
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
"Will you marry me?" Is a marriage proposal.
"Will, You, Mary, Me" is a foursome proposal.
Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
A: A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.
John comes home and notices his wife naked in bed and the postman standing with his unzipped trousers next to the bed.
The postman wants to save the situation so he says quickly: "Mrs. Ann, I warn you for the last time! If you do not sign this letter so I will pee on your brand-new carpet."
A man in Amsterdam feels the need to confess, so he goes to his priest.
"Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. During WWII, I hid a refugee in my attic."
"Well," answers the priest, "that's not a sin."'
"But I made him agree to pay me 20 guilders for every week he stayed."
"I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause."
"Oh, thank you, Father. That eases my mind. I have one more question."
"What is that, my son?"
"Do I have to tell him the war is over?"