Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer?
Nerdvana.
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How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
Are you kidding?
That’s a hardware problem!
An engineer, a manager and a programmer are driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes fail and the car careens down the road until it hits a tree.
They all get out and discuss how to fix the car.
The manager says, ‘To fix this problem we need to organise a committee and develop a mission statement.’
The engineer says, ‘That would take too long.
I have my penknife here.
I’ll take apart the brake system, isolate the problem, and correct it.’
The programmer says, ‘No, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.’
HR manager to job candidate: ‘I see you’ve had no computer training.
Although that qualifies you for upper management, it means you’re under-qualified for our entry level positions.’
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How do two programmers make money?
One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
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A programmer had a problem.
He decided to use Java.
He now has a ProblemFactory.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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I never thought that the Internet was very useful, but now I've changed my mind.
Let's hope your new one works better than the one you had before.
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Why did the Irishman give up internet shopping?
The trolley kept falling off the computer.