Where do you go if you become ‘at one’ with your computer?
Nerdvana.
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Q: Which Bible character had no parents?
A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
When Nasa first began sending astronauts into space, they were confronted by a small problem.
Their standard ballpoint pens would not work in space.
They spent a decade and twelve million dollars designing a pen that would work below three hundred degrees, in space, and on glass.
Russia used a pencil.
Q: What did the dentist say to the computer?
A: This won't hurt a byte
Which way did the programmer go?
He went data way!
A ragged individual stranded for several months on a small desert island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean one day noticed a bottle lying in the sand with a piece of paper in it.
"Due to lack of maintenance," he read, "we regretfully have found it necessary to cancel your e-mail account."
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When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asked a young Engineer fresh out of MIT, "And what starting salary were you looking for?"
The Engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package."
The interviewer enquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of 5-weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Corvette?"
The Engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?"
And the interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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The Internet: where men are men, women are men, and children are the FBI...