Joke #4110

Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
Vote:
has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: IT

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A programmer was walking along the beach when he found a lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp a genie appeared who stated "I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish you want, but only one wish." The programmer pulled out a map of the Mediterranean area and said "I'd like there to be a just and last peace among the people in the middle east." The genie responded, "Gee, I don't know. Those people have been fighting since the beginning of time. I can do just about anything, but this is beyond my limits." The programmer then said, "Well, I am a programmer and my programs have a lot of users. Please make all the users satisfied with my programs, and let them ask sensible changes" Genie: "Uh, let me see that map again."
Vote:
has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: IT
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
Vote:
has 75.38 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
Once upon a time, a computer programmer drowned at sea. Many were on the beach and heard him cry out, “F1! F1!”, but no one understood.
Vote:
has 78.13 % from 163 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, programmer
Caller: Oh, no, it’s just the stupid, stupid design of this computer. Every time I want to click something, I have to unplug the keyboard to plug in the mouse. And then every time I want to use the keyboard again, I have to unplug the mouse. Because there’s only one jack. Agent: Ma’am, you do realize that there’s a jack on the keyboard itself? You’re supposed to plug the mouse into the keyboard, and the keyboard into the computer. Caller: Are you kidding me!? Oh, wait a minute—yes, I see it now! Oh, holy cow. That’s going to be so much easier! Agent: Just out of curiosity, how long have you been using your computer that way? Caller: Six weeks!
Vote:
has 48.55 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, stupid
An unfailingly polite lady called to ask for help with a Windows installation that had gone terribly wrong. Customer: "I brought my Windows disks from work to install them on my home computer." Training stresses that we are "not the Software Police," so I let the little act of piracy slide. Tech Support: "Umm-hmm. What happened?" Customer: "As I put each disk in it turns out they weren't initialized." Tech Support: "Do you remember the message exactly, ma'am?" Customer: (proudly) "I wrote it down. 'This is not a Macintosh disk. Would you like to initialize it?'" Tech Support: "Er, what happened next?" Customer: "After they were initialized, all the disks appeared to be blank. And now I brought them back to work, and I can't read them in the A: drive; the PC wants to format them. And this is our only set of Windows disks for the whole office. Did I do something wrong?"
Vote:
has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: IT
What is a cursor? Someone having computer problems.
Vote:
has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: IT
Where does the acronym LOTUS come from? Let Only Users Suffer.
Vote:
has 22.73 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: IT
The code that is the hardest to debug is the code that you know cannot possibly be wrong.
Vote:
has 82.79 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: coding, geek, IT
Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.” Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?” Customer: “Netscape.” Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?” Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?” Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.” Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
Vote:
has 75.69 % from 238 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
"Knock, knock.Who's there?" very long pause... "Java."
Vote:
has 59.35 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: IT, knock-knock