Joke #4110

Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
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How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.
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Bill Gates dies and goes to God. God says to him: Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want. God shoes Bill that in hell there are lots of naked chicks and beaches. So he chooses hell. After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there. Bill says: No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me? Oh that! That was just a screen saver.
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What's an extroverted IT professional? One who looks at your shoes while he's talking to you, instead of his own.
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How many computer programmers does it take to change a light bulb? Are you kidding? That’s a hardware problem!
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What did one computer say to the other? 010101101010101010101
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A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
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Bill Gates and Jim Cannavino from IBM are arguing about the future of 32-bit operating systems. They decide to throw a coin. Cannavino: "If the number is up, OS/2 will be the new standard, if it’s head Windows95 will be the new standard." Gates: "Hey, you forgot Windows NT." Cannavino: "No, I didn’t. If the coin falls on end, Windows NT will be the future."
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Wikipedia: I know everything! Google: I have everything! Facebook: I know everybody! Internet: Without me you are nothing! Electricity: Keep talking bitches!
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Who said Windows 98 is a virus was wrong. Why? Because a virus does something.
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Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don’t. And there will be a special name for them – secretaries.
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