Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
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Q: How many Object Oriented programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None, they send it a message, and it changes itself.
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Funny facts about Google users:
50% of people use Google well as a search engine.
The rest 50% of them use it to check if their internet is connected
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Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room?
A: A computer?
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I had a programming problem and decided to use regular expressions to solve it.
Now I have two problems.
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Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
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What did the computer do at lunchtime?
Had a byte!
What do you call a computer that takes 15 minutes to start, freezes if you try to do more than one thing at a time, crashes regularly and causes you to swear under your breath throughout the day?
Cutting edge.
Yo mama so stupid, the password needed 8 characters, so she put Snow white and the 7 dwarves.
There are 2 types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data