Joke #4110

Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
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has 29.01 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: IT

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Programmers: See one warning, fixes warning. Compiles... See two errors, fixes errors. Compiles... See 83 errors, pitches computer.
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has 70.84 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: coding, computer, IT, technology, work
Murphy's Laws of Computing 1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen. 2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it's probably obsolete. 3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you least expect to find it. 4. When the going gets tough, upgrade. 5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction. 6. To err is human.. to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, it is downright natural. 7. He who laughs last probably made a back-up. 8. If at first you do not succeed, blame your computer. 9. A complex system that does not work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine. 10. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions. 11. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
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has 81.83 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT, programmer
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to change it, and two to complain about how bad GE's customer support is.
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has 56.77 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: IT
Bill Gates dies and goes to God. God says to him: Because you invented the screen saver I give you the possibility to go wherever you want. God shoes Bill that in hell there are lots of naked chicks and beaches. So he chooses hell. After a while God returns and asks him if he like’s it there. Bill says: No! Where are all the chicks you just showed me? Oh that! That was just a screen saver.
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has 64.72 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: god, IT
The extra RAM slots have tractor parts stored in them.
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has 12.34 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: IT
It was reported this week that Google would soon launch its own cellphone as a challenge to the iPhone. Also a challenge to the iPhone? Making phone calls.
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has 67.89 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it’s probably obsolete.
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has 39.32 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: IT
A Computer Engineer was asked by his five-year-old son: "Dad, what is Windows 95?" "Well, it’s 32-bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit operating system originally coded for a 4-bit microprocessor, written by a 2-bit company that can't stand 1 bit of competition."
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has 77.01 % from 228 votes. More jokes about: age, computer, dad, IT, programmer
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, coding, computer, geek, IT
A psychiatrist had no patients in his office and he was bored. Suddenly , the door opened slowly and a man crept into the room on four legs. His mouth was full with pieces of colored plastic. He was holding strange objects in his hands. He was dragging cables along behind himself. The doctor was glad because of the visit and exclaimed, "And what do we have here, a little snake? Come to Uncle Doctor, my snake..." The man shook his head. "Oh, sorry, I didn't notice your legs. You're a dragon, right?" The man shook his head again angrily. "Sorry... a worm?" The visitor spitted out the plastic pieces. "Go to hell, you idiot! I'm the system administrator and I came to change your LAN cable!"
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has 74.21 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: animal, computer, doctor, IT, programmer