Software isn’t released, it’s allowed to escape.
A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife : Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!! What happened, did you run out of toilet paper? No, restart the router, please!
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales? Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
Error, no keyboard. Press F1 to continue.
Q: Why did the computer go to the dentist? A: Because it had Bluetooth.
Virus "Windows" found: Delete, Repair, Next?
Q: What is 001011010110101010100101010010101015 in binary? A: A major glitch!
Why was the IT support worker bad-tempered? Because he had a chip on his shoulder.
Programmer. A person who fixed a problem that you don't know you have, in a way you don't understand.