Joke #35

My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill. How irresponsible people are.

How many prolog programmers does it take to change a lightbulb? Yes.

CEO frequently overheard mumbling, "Eeny, meeny, miney, moe." Windows XP shutdown screen reads, "It is Now Safe to Start Looking for Work." Company softball team downsized to chess team. Company president now driving a Hyundai. Giant yard sale in front of corporate headquarters.

Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.

Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting "F1 F1" and nobody understood it.

Someday, the people who know how to use computers will rule over those who don’t. And there will be a special name for them – secretaries.

Q: Why did the bodybuilder buy tape from the hardware store? A: Somebody told him he was ripped!

A Microsoft support technician goes to a firing range. He shoots ten bullets at the target 50m away. The supervisors check the target and see that there’s not even a single hit. They shout to him that he missed completely. The technician tells them to recheck, and gets the same answer. The technician then aims the gun at his finger and shoots, blasting it off. He shouts back, ‘It’s working fine here! The problem must be at your end!’

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple. Airline virus: You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore. Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years. Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back. AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.

Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.