My wifi suddenly stop working then I realized that my neighbors have not paid the bill.
How irresponsible people are.
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90% of programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
What do Scientists have for snacks?
Micro-chips.
How do you tell an introverted computer scientist from an extroverted computer scientist?
An extroverted computer scientist looks at your shoes when he talks to you.
Chuck Norris's programs can pass the Turing Test by staring at the interrogator.
I needed to quickly run a SQL command to update a single row in an Oracle DB table at work.
To my horror, it came back with –2,193,674 rows affected.
A female secretary was helping her new boss set up his computer and asked him what word he would like to use as a password to log in with.
Wanting to embarrass his new secretary a bit and let her know where they stood, he smugly told her to enter ‘penis.’
Without blinking or saying a word, she entered the password.
She then almost died laughing at the computer’s response:
PASSWORD REJECTED.
NOT LONG ENOUGH!
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.
Q: What has a key but no lock and has space but no room?
A: A computer?
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What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus?
A dead wringer.
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