If it wasn’t for lawyers, we wouldn’t need them.
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Q: What did the lawyer name his daughter?
A: Sue.
Q: And his son?
A: Bill.
What’s black and tan and looks great on a lawyer?
A Dobermann pinscher.
Q: What is the ideal weight of a lawyer?
A: About three pounds, including the urn.
What’s the difference between a lawyer and a catfish?
One’s a scum-sucking bottom dweller, the other’s a fish!
How can you know a lawyer is lying?
When he moves his lips.
Q: What do lawyers wear to court?
A: Lawsuits!
Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving
The father with his daughter are taking a walk to a public place of their town;
"Ann! Why are you so nervously looking around?" observes the father.
"How else can I find you a really good son in law, dad?"
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by.
One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her!
The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.
"Can you tell me how much you charge?" asked the client.
"Of course", the lawyer replied, "I charge $200 to answer three questions!"
"Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?"
"Yes it is", said the lawyer, "And what's your third question?"