Joke #1774

Q: What do lawyers wear to court? A: Lawsuits!
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has 53.15 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: lawyer

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A patient that was waiting for a heart transplant has the chance to choose tree alternatives: 1. One heart is from a young athlete that died from a car accident. 2. Second is the heart of a business man that never smoked or drunk that died from an airplane accident. 3. The last one is a lawyers heart that died after 30 years of experience. I'll take the lawyers heart. After the transplant, the doctor asks the patient: "Why did you choose the lawyers heart?" "Simple! I chose the heart that was less used..."
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: business, car, death, drunk, lawyer
A lawyer was asked if he likes to become a Jehovah's Witness. He declined, as he hadn't seen the accident, but replied that he would still be interested in taking the case.
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has 71.35 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer, mean, money, religious
Lawyer’s creed – a man is innocent until proven broke.
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
30 degrees... It was so cold out today that even the lawyers had their hands in their own pockets.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
A man walked into a lawyer's office. "How much does your advice cost?" he asked the lawyer. "Fifty dollars for three questions," replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "And what was your third question?"
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers? New Jersey got to pick first.
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has 44.24 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
Two attorneys were walking out of a bar and a beautiful young lady walks by. One attorney turns to his associate and comments "Boy, I would like to fuck her! The other attorney thinks for a second and said "Out of what"?
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has 74.15 % from 97 votes. More jokes about: bar, lawyer, sex
A beautiful woman enters a bar and sits next to a lawyer. "Listen honey," she says, "For $50, I’ll do absolutely anything you want." The lawyer looks around, pulls fifty dollars from his wallet and says, "Paint my house."
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has 81.43 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: beauty, lawyer, money, women
Chuck Norris once went to court for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
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has 80.19 % from 432 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, lawyer
"You seem to be in some distress," said the kindly judge to the witness. "Is anything the matter?" "Well, your Honour," said the witness, "I swore to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, but every time I try, some lawyer objects."
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has 77.83 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: lawyer