I love her so much I worship the ground her father found oil on.
For a weddin' present Ledbetter gave his son Amos two hundred dollars. Two weeks later he asked him, "W'atcha do with the money, son?" "Ah bought me a wristwatch, Pappy!" answered the boy. "Yew dumb ignoramous!" yelled his father. "Yew should 'av bought yourself a rifle!" "A rifle? What fer?" "Suppos'n one day yew cum home and find some guy sleepin' wid yore wife," explained the older redneck. "W'atcha gonna do? Wake him up and ask him what time it is?"
Yo mama is so fat when she sat on WALMART she lowered the price.
What does a blonde in a supermarket bending over? Looking for low prices!
A man was walking through a rather seedy section of town, when a bum walked up to him and asked the man for two dollars. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum replied, "No." Then the man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No." Then the man asked the bum, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches?
Chuck Norris has never received an electricity bill, he powers everything with his rage
How do you start a Jewish parade? Throw a penny down main street.
What king of money do fishermen make? Net profits!
Four Laws of Accounting: 1. Trial balances don't. 2. Bank reconciliations never do. 3. Working capital does not. 4. Return on investments never will.