An engineer, a manager and a programmer are driving down a steep mountain road.
The brakes fail and the car careens down the road until it hits a tree.
They all get out and discuss how to fix the car.
The manager says, ‘To fix this problem we need to organise a committee and develop a mission statement.’
The engineer says, ‘That would take too long.
I have my penknife here.
I’ll take apart the brake system, isolate the problem, and correct it.’
The programmer says, ‘No, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again.’
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What do you call a bent iPhone 6 plus?
A dead wringer.
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If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over!
To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"!
If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.
Hit "any key" to continue life when ready.
To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster.
To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel.
To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings.
If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers.
When you loose your car keys, click on find.
"Help" with the chores is just a click away.
Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary.
You would use your diskette to recover from a crash.
And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
A tourist was drowning in the sea:
Help! Help! He screams.
Very calm the fisherman says:
Press F1 already and stop screaming.
You’re scaring the fishes away.
Two geeks are talking over lunch.
The first guy says, "You wouldn't believe what happened this morning.
A girl rode up to me on her bike, took off all her clothes, and said 'Take whatever you want!' …
So I took the bike"
The second guy says, "Good choice, her clothes probably wouldn't have fit you."
Chuck Norris' Internet connection is faster upstream than downstream because even data has more incentive to run from him than to him.
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Where's the best place to hide a body?
Page two of Google.
Q: What's object-oriented way to become wealthy?
A: Inheritance.
Programming is like sex.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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How come the women loves the PC?
It’s easier to turn on!
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
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