Joke #14230

I have a statistics joke, but it's not significant. I have a regression joke, but it sounds quite mean. I have a machine learning joke, but it is not performing as well on a new audience. I have a joke about deep learning but I can't explain it. I have a geography joke, but I don't know where it is.
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has 38.55 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: IT, school

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One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
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has 86.33 % from 2182 votes. More jokes about: computer, drug, IT, medical, money
How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: school
A blonde girl enters a store that sells curtains. She tells the salesman, “I would like to buy a pink curtain in the size of my computer screen.” The surprised salesman replies, “But, madam, computers do not have curtains.” And the blonde said, “Helloooo…. I’ve got Windows!”
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has 67.11 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: computer, IT
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, school
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: coding, school
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer? A: There's white-out all over the screen.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: IT
There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
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has 58.78 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: IT, sex
Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50." "Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"
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has 86.37 % from 257 votes. More jokes about: IT
A student to his teacher: "I haven't got no pencil." Teacher, correcting him: "You don't have any pencil. He doesn't have any pencils. We don't have any pencils." Student, with a look of astonishment: "Where have all the pencils gone?"
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: school, student, teacher