I have a statistics joke, but it's not significant.
I have a regression joke, but it sounds quite mean.
I have a machine learning joke, but it is not performing as well on a new audience.
I have a joke about deep learning but I can't explain it.
I have a geography joke, but I don't know where it is.
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A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said:
“Now, students, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face.”
“Yes, sir,” the boys said.
“Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?”
A little fellow shouted, “‘It’s because yer feet ain’t empty.”
Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet?
He kept logging on and off.
A little girl cuts her hand on the playground and runs crying to the teacher.
She asks the teacher for a glass of cider.
"Why do you want a glass of cider?" the teacher asks.
"To take away the pain," sobs the little girl.
"What do you mean?" the teacher asks.
"Well," sobs the little girl.
"I overheard my big sister say that whenever she has a prick in her hand, she can't wait to get it in cider."
To the optimist, the glass is half-full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half-empty.
To the IT professional, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
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Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.
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Teacher: To which family does the elephant belong?
Pupil: I don’t know, nobody I know owns one!
Teacher: Where is your homework?
Pupil: I lost it fighting this kid who said you weren’t the best teacher in the school.
Two programmers in a bar:
Do you see that chick there?
Look at here “properties”!
Yes, I’ve already “tested” here last night... they are read-only!
A student called into school as his father in the hopes of getting out of school that day.
“My son had the flu and can’t make it to school today,” he said.
“Who is this speaking,” said the secretary.
"This is my father!”
Chuck Norris can access private methods.
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