Joke #4196

This website may not be idiot proof, but at least it’s dimwit resistant.
Vote: has 20.20 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man goes inside a pet shop and starts to move around the cages to scout the pets. He sees a monkey with a price of 5000$ and goes to the merchant to ask for details. Hey mister, the monkey…what does it know to worth that much money? Well, it knows Windows 95, 98, 2000, and also knows Word, C++, Visual Basic and last but not least, it knows how to play computer games. - Good monkey, it's worth the money. He goes and finds another monkey with a price of 10000$ and again he will ask the merchant. "What does this monkey know?" "It knows Linux, Unix, Corel and Autocad." "Nice, even I don't know those things." On a last scout run he finds another monkey just sitting there with a price 20000$. The story repeats, and he goes with a lack of confidence to ask the merchant for details. "And what does this monkey do for that ridiculous amount of money?" "I never saw her doing anything, but the other two call her Project Manager!"
Vote: has 81.69 % from 227 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, IT, management, money, programmer
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
Vote: has 66.46 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, IT, work
What do computers eat when they get hungry? "Chips."
Vote: has 39.39 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, IT
Q: How did the elephant destroy the database? A: His truncate it.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: coding, elephant, geek, IT
Why did the computer get cold? Because it forgot to close windows.
Vote: has 72.31 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: computer, health, IT
If you messed up your life, you could press "Ctrl, Alt, Delete" and start all over! To get your daily exercise, just click on "run"! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend. Hit "any key" to continue life when ready. To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in your life, click settings and control panel. To improve your appearance, just adjust the display settings. If life gets too noisy, turn off the speakers. When you loose your car keys, click on find. "Help" with the chores is just a click away. Auto insurance wouldn't be necessary. You would use your diskette to recover from a crash. And, we could click on "SEND NOW" and a Pizza would be on it's way to you.
Vote: has 59.74 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, IT, life
Why did the boy mouse like the girl mouse? They just seemed to click.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
How do insects communicate? By bee mail.
Vote: has 22.36 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT
A computer programmer happens across a frog in the road. The frog pipes up, "I'm really a beautiful princess and if you kiss me, I'll stay with you for a week". The programmer shrugs his shoulders and puts the frog in his pocket. A few minutes later, the frog says "OK, OK, if you kiss me, I'll give you great sex for a week". The programmer nods and puts the frog back in his pocket. A few minutes later, "Turn me back into a princess and I'll give you great sex for a whole year!" The programmer smiles and walks on. Finally, the frog says, "What's wrong with you? I've promised you great sex for a year from a beautiful princess and you won't even kiss a frog?" "I'm a programmer," he replies. "I don't have time for sex.But a talking frog is pretty neat."
Vote: has 62.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, computer, IT, programmer
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
Vote: has 68.26 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, programmer