Joke #3797

It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
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has 71.63 % from 226 votes. More jokes about: sex

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A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
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has 60.76 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
There were three nuns, they all told the priest that they were going to do one sin each. So the priest says ok, do your sins, come back, and I’ll bless you. So, they went to do their sins and came back to get blessed. The priest asked the first one who was laughing what her sin was. She said, "I had sex with a guy." The priest said ok, blessed her and said go drink some holy water. So she did! The next one was laughing harder, and the priest asked her what her sin was. She said, "I got in a fight with another nun." So he says ok, blessed her and told her to go drink some holy water. So she did. The priest asked the last one who was laughing even harder what she did. And as she was laughing she said, "I pissed in the holy water!"
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has 81.22 % from 514 votes. More jokes about: priest, sex, women
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex? A: They have cotton balls.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, sex
Q: How do you know a blonde just lost her virginity? A: The crayons are still sticky.
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: blonde, dirty, disgusting, sex
A woman walks into a chemist’s and asks if they sell extra-large condoms. ‘Yes, we do,’ says the sales assistant. ‘Would you like to buy some?’ ‘No thanks,’ replies the woman. ‘But if you don’t mind, I’ll wait here for someone who does.’
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has 78.60 % from 685 votes. More jokes about: sex
Seven wise men with knowledge so fine, created a pussy to their design. First was a butcher, with smart wit, using a knife, he gave it a slit, Second was a carpenter, strong and bold, with a hammer and chisel, he gave it a hole, Third was a tailor, tall and thin, by using red velvet, he lined it within, Fourth was a hunter, short and stout, with a piece of fox fur, he lined it without, Fifth was a fisherman, nasty as hell, threw in a fish and gave it a smell, Sixth was a preacher, whose name was McGee, he touched it and blessed it, and said it could pee, Last was a sailor, dirty little runt, he sucked it and fucked it, and called it a cunt.
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has 75.71 % from 637 votes. More jokes about: dirty, fish, sex
Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
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has 64.93 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: dirty, doctor, flirt, game, sex
An elderly black man goes to see his doctor for help with his sexual performance issues. The doctor explains that Viagra isn't going to work this time. The man goes back to the doctor a month later for a follow-up. This time he is wearing a new tuxedo, shined shoes, and a top-hat. The doctor is impressed and asks what the occasion is. The old man says, "If I'm gonna be impotent I'm gonna look impotent!"
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has 3.57 % from 1166 votes. More jokes about: communication, doctor, old people, sex, viagra
A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
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has 61.99 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: age, death, dirty, geography, sex
Q: Why is a girls pussy like an ocean? A: It's really wet and has a Sperm Whale in it.
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has 52.23 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex