It isn’t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
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Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a taxi cab?
A: You have to pay to ride in a taxi cab.
The average speed of ejaculation is 45km/h, which is probably why I was arrested for doing it outside a school.
Your best friend has three girlfriends.
Their names are Doe, Ray, and Me.
All 3 want to do something special so they set up some dates.
Three days ago Doe kisses him.
Two days ago Ray gives him vaginal sex.
Yesterday, who sucks his dick?
When the first legal brothel opened here in Brissy I got the OK from the missus to check it out and have myself a good time.
I was in there like a flash and as I was the only client at that time I has my choice of the buffet on offer.
I chose a gorgeous tall slim redhead but before moving off to the rooms she stated that she wont work with anyone unless they are 10 inches.
Being a little embarrassed as you would be I asked her politely to sit back down.
I mean after all, no matter how hot they were I wasn't about to cut 2 inches of my manhood for anyone...
Why did the Irishman wear two condoms?
To be sure, to be sure.
A guy is late to meet with his friends at the local bar the friends obviously ask why he is late and he responds:
"Wow, you won't believe what just happened. So I take the usual route via the rail tracks and suddenly I see a young, naked woman tied up next to the tracks."
The friends are curious and ask: "Well, what happened next?"
The guy says: "Of course I untied her and we had sex because I freed her."
The friends are cheering and one friend asks: "Soo... did you get any head?"
The guy says: "No, I couldn't find it..."
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Q: Why do fat, ugly women give the best blow jobs?
A: Because they have to!
- "Didn't you read Lord of the Rings in high school"?
- "No, I had sex in high school."
Q. Why don't women blink during foreplay?
A. They don't have time.